I woke up this morning around 4am and kinda lay in bed all awakey but hopeful of return of sleepiness. It was all fine (although dark, and boring) until about 5 when I started feeling really sick. Got up and took a spit, I feel ok now so hopefully it was just a random annoyance and not some stupid bug.
So at least I got up early. I am reading some crazy books at the moment - one on Arawata Bill (NZ goldminer/bushman), one on the history of vegetables, another on the history of gunpowder, and the biography of a girl brought up in the treaty-port enclaves of China in the late 19th century. She spent something like 3 years in a japanese detention camp, as well as losing a baby, 4 husbands, a twin sister and all her money several times along the way. Great story. It's called Lilla's Feast.
I need to buy some more long socks for winter.
Got a migraine on Wednesday night (yes, last wednesday) and have been trying to get rid of it since. Yesterday was the first day I could drive and this morning the first that I can stand a back-lit screen.
It's been all very unpleasant, as migraines are, and it's been really odd this time because I've been kind of hallucinating - that half dream/half awake sort of state where you don't know if things are real or not. It's been really disturbing. Like, on Monday, I was about to apologiise to Tara, because one of her friends had come around on Saturday and I'd been less than polite - not exactly aggressive, but just a bit strong for a pleasant weekend debate, and towards the end things got a bit heated and I said some things that were really quite hurtful and I certainly shouldn't have said. It was none of my business.
So yeah, on Monday I took Tara aside and was just about to launch into my speech of apology when a little bell went off somewhere deep in my brain and I said "Um, hey, did your mate come over on Saturday?" She looked at me oddly and said "What?" "Um, you know your mate Viv that came over on Saturday... " "No-one came round on Saturday. You're losing your mind girl! Go back to bed!"
It sounds funny in retrospect but it's kind of uncomfortable - I don't know if there are conversations I've had and don't remember, and vice-versa. Weird, nasty memories.
Not doing much today, just recovering a little. My neck is so badly out of alignment. I would go to the chiropractor but I can't afford it. I don't think "threw up too much" counts as an accident.
Anyways. Take care, kiddies! Give a Hoot - Read a Book!
I'd usually have cheese.
Very tired today after staying up too late last night reading A Bend in the Yellow River. Southpark last night was very funny, too.
I have found a very cheap source of wool for my thneed. I went to the op-shop and got two hand-knitted jerseys for $2, unravelled them and rewound the wool up into balls. It's recycling, but it kind of made me feel guilty, unravelling all those hours and hours of work someone did!
(note - unravelling a jersey is a guilty sensory pleasure as well. Each stitch seperates out with just the right degree of tension and ease. It reminds me a bit of popping fresh peas out of their pods.)
I wish I had tools, then I could make things in the garage. And also, I wish I had wood to work with. And the patience and skill required. The slab of kauri I found at the tip is very cool, but the wood is so hard and dense that it is extreeeeemely slow going with the sandpaper.
Must go shower to see if that wakes me up...
Not much to say really. Weather overcast but not rainy. I have begun distracting birds from the garden with provision of a bird table in another area. Tiny little green bugs are also eating my baby plants, but they are easier to squish.
Must go to the library today. Also, walk dog. Hang out washing. Do dishes. Paint. I've started re-using old canvas but I can't re-use the old paint, unfortunately, so I'll have to save up for some cheapy oils. I'm doing one at the moment that I'm quite hopeful will come out reasonable.
I've finally worked it out. The reason people play club sport? Cheap drinks at the club rooms! Sweet. Even better than paying subs and spending all Saturday sweating? Be a club player's flatmate. T and I just went down the clubrooms and got mildly squiffy. $2.20 for a glass of wine! It'd be rude not to.
Didn't do heaps today - walked Sock, collected some driftwood for the fire, weeded the garden, started reading a book about the history of the oil industry. I need to find some cheap wool. Anyone got any old spare mis-matching balls around? I'm knitting a thneed (you need a thneed!) and need free or very cheap materials.
Went to a garage sale today and got two very good, very sharp kitchen knives for $2. I've also discovered an awesome shop here in New Brighton that is called Dog Watch - they've been going for over 25 years, and it's basically a thrift shop run by volunteers that gives all profits to feeding, housing, re-homing and de-sexing dogs. I got a jacket and a jersey there the other day. I'm getting quite friendly with one of the ladies that works there. Sock is defintely an asset!
I don't know why, but I'm exhausted! I think it's either depression or a reaction to the stress of the last few weeks. I'm finding food/weight a real battle again so I am kind of withdrawing into my castle and just focusing on eating, exercising, doing little things around home and not beating myself up for not being 'better'! It's a bit of a minefield but I know it's the right strategy - I just need to keep my head down for a little while until I hit the next peaky-bit.
Sock has developed a bad barking habit that I am having difficulty training out of her. It's hard because of the kids - who love Sock - constantly winding her up with play and excitement. So every time she hears the kids outside, she barks her nut off. Inside a tin garage? It's VERY LOUD. And with my shouted accompaniament of SHUTUP!YOUSTUPIDDOG! it's not what you would call a relaxing way to start the morning. At least it gets me out of bed.
Weather has been less than stunning but at least not particularly windy, wet or cold. The tsunami-warning-that-wasnt yesterday was a bit scary, because New Brighton would be wiped out first and the hills are a good 20-30mins drive away. Also, my house is quite close to the river - so we'd be trapped on all sides.
The garden is growing apace. I have a tarp to shield it from frosts, which probably aren't too far away now...