January 14, 2005

Does Jesus Adjust To GMT?

My anxiety levels have dropped markedly. I realised that if I move to another time zone - any other time zone - I need never worry about being caught unawares in the Rapture. (I have to allow a confession/conversion window of about 20 minutes)

All the doomsday and apocalyptic warnings are quite specific about date and/or time of the cataclysm. So just make sure that you live in the LAST time zone. That way, you cut your chances of unsaved incineration by ... um, 12s into 100's... carry the 25... um, well, a lot, anyway.

Further to this comforting heresy, I also solved the problem of my shower. The bath has one of those rubber hose/shower head contraptions that guarantees you will be alternatly scalded and frozen by the low pressure dibble. Also the hot water seems to cost about $6 a tank to heat up and that's just ridiculous. However, if you choose to boil water for a bath, you tend to end up fighting against the laws of thermodynamics rather a lot.

So I boiled one pot of water, tipped it into a shopping bag, adding cold water to temperature, and hung the bag over the bath. A small needle provided a lovely fine spray that actually managed to keep me fairly warm and give enough time to soap and rinse. So there you go. No need to spend thousands on that bathroom upgrade!

Hell, at this rate I will be living in a shack smoking a corn-cob pipe by next year. I'll have to trade in the Sock for a flea-bitten mongrel of a yellow complexion.

Posted by phreq at January 14, 2005 04:05 PM | TrackBack

This "I also solved the problem of my shower........"
sounds like an urban version of Survivor which would be a money maker. With ingenuity of that ilk I wouldnt vote you off the tribe.

Posted by: Vincent at January 17, 2005 02:37 PM

Excellent! Chalk one up for Team Nuts. Only the deeply irrational may join, on the premise that if you go far enough around the bend you can at least see where you've been. Unless it's a U-Bend, and then you'll require an expensive sort of plumber.

Posted by: phreq at January 17, 2005 05:43 PM


Posted by: Online Home Loans at November 19, 2005 11:09 PM
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