So I went to see the Eating Disorders service. They are quite tough. They require you to sign up to two sessions a week - if you miss two, you get booted from the programme - and they also make you carry a diary around with you and record everything you eat and drink, immediately, for 20 weeks. The thought of that just freaks me out like I can't explain.
I've been writing for the last few days. I came up with a little story about 10,000 words long - and very unusually for me, it actually has a beginning, middle and end. A proper story! Good discipline :)
Not much else to report, really. My meds have been changed which is quite nice - I've got tranquilisers and sleeping pills so I feel rested in the first time in ages. My ribs still hurt but they're getting there :)
Will try to get online again soon... sorry to be patchy on email and blogging at the mo; life is a bit topsy turvy.
Posted by phreq at November 5, 2004 11:41 AM | TrackBackThat does seem pretty tough, how are you doing with it?
The writing sounds neaty, good on you!
Love and hugs
Posted by: Jenni at November 5, 2004 03:30 PMThat does seem pretty tough, how are you doing with it?
The writing sounds neaty, good on you!
Love and hugs
Posted by: Jenni at November 5, 2004 03:30 PMHey Jen, boy am I ever missing you, I bet it is a rough road you are traveling, just remember you can do it, I believe in you! Also dont forget that along the way you have good friends to cushion the bumps, major
hugsssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sending you much love from Canada, Tracy
gyah. that is tough. any sort of diary like that is tricky enough. i remember in 2nd year psych they made us write down EVERY social interaction that lasted more than 5-10 minutes and how we felt and who it was to, and where. in theory to see if we could note emotions etc that were actually associated with a particular time, place or person. we were contributing to some big study, not just our own grades. i guess i can see that it might have a use place in trying to assess something like a generalised anxiety disorder (e.g. maybe a certain situation or person is bringing out certain feelings). but it was tough. espech since one doesn't always want to know what feelings one harbours about certain ppl etc. i know some ppl went out of their way to avoid human contact for the 2 weeks cos it was so complex. 20 weeks? yoiks. plus, you've got more invested in this than we were in ours.
are you supposed to review it as you go? or just at sessions or at the end of the 20 weeks? cos maybe it would help a lil if you hid each entry from yourself as you entered it? in a kinda outa-sight, outa-mind type thing? like tape the pages down as you use them, and only de-tape them when you have to review them. or have a box at home that you put the entries into for safe keeping. even if it's just at first until you get more used to it (assuming that's not directly opposite the point of the diary - i.e. being a constant reminder). or you could make haiku or limericks outa the words, or a story or something.
there once was a 'potato' named spud
who sat on a sticky 'milk' dud
he cried and he cried,
until fish thought him fried
so missiled his ass with a scud.
i'm a great believer in lessening the impact of unpleasant tasks by making them more interesting.
course, this doesn't work for everyone. and there's no rhyme for orange.
good luck with it all hun. *big hugs*
Posted by: Zephfi at November 5, 2004 08:12 PMI haven’t been reading blogs much lately, because I’ve been so self-obsessed, what with finishing my degree, various physical states, and how crap my life is generally... But today I clicked over, and caught up on the last few posts on your blog. And I felt really humbled, by your honesty. And I wanted to say how *brave* you are! And strong, for keeping going, in spite of stupid doctors, in spite of fears.
Gawd, I don’t think I could record everything I eat and drink for two weeks. Not honestly. Which probably means I’m not doing as ok as I think I am, on my own, and maybe I need to go back to OA... that freaks me out too. I still don’t believe life could every be bearable without food...
Posted by: Fionnaigh at November 6, 2004 10:51 AMYou are doing awesome. The idea of recording any aspect of my life that regularly..... Gaah! Seems impossible!
Love you and hope to see you soonish!
Posted by: giffy at November 6, 2004 01:13 PMHeya love, hope you don't mind that I quoted your blog in my essay... http://www.stonesoup.co.nz/ecoqueer/archives/004234.html
Posted by: Fionnaigh at November 9, 2004 10:51 AMThanks
Posted by: Online Home Loans at November 19, 2005 10:05 PM