plasticwrap

The Tridefecta

Come on, universe! Gimme a break!

Deb asked me to move out on Friday night, so I spent all of yesterday searching for a place to live that isn't hideously expensive. I looked at 3 but 2 went by the end of the day so I will have to be quick on the phone to the agent tomorrow morning and hopefully (hopefully!) will get number 3.

My life seems to have been ridiculously stressful in the last week or so. Between my parents, and the eating disorders news, and now having to find a flat double-quick it has just become a bit of a nightmare. Hopefully though, if I can find a place, it will reduce my overall stress by at least giving me my own room where I don't have to worry the whole time that I'm disturbing Leon or pissing someone off. If I get a place close by then I can still come over and help out with housework and dogs etc. But it is just hard to have another big thing to deal with right at the moment.

Deb claims it's not anything I've done but she wants her house back - so I guess I have to trust her on that. She wants to use the sleepout to store stuff in which will free them up a bit in the house. I know it's illogical to feel resentful here but I have to admit I do a little. I guess partly it's because I'm scared of having to cope with more stuff by myself again - landlords, power companies, insurance companies, all of that - but also it's because Deb said to me that I was part of their family - and that's not something I took lightly. But I don't think she would ask one of her *actual* family members in my situation to move out so she could store junk in their room. :( I'll get over it, it's not a biggie, but just coming on top of the rejection from my actual family, it hurts to then be 'kicked out' by my pretended family. It's that kind of "nobody wants me" self-pity trip :) Usually I indulge heavily in self-pity for a day or two and then snap out of it!

Can't think of much else to say really... nothing stunningly interesting is happening. The dogs are raising merry hell outside which must be restful for the neighbours at 9.30 on a Sunday morning. *evil grin* teach that little snot-rag next door to quit playing his stereo through my wall.

Man I wish I had a stereo. I haven't had one in years, not since I left home. I just had a major desire to flick on a cd and listen to it on proper speakers, not headphones or computer speakers... and to listen to the radio... and maybe dub some new tapes because I'm getting damn sick of my single working compilation tape on every car trip! *grin* I get so that when I hear a song off that tape somewhere else, it really annoys me not to hear the "right" song follow it, which is a sure sign of thrashing a mix to death!

Time to go feed the demon-dogs.

Posted by phreq at August 1, 2004 10:47 AM | TrackBack