December 17, 2004

100 Things

New And Updated For December 2004!

1) I was born in Masterton Hospital

2) I can't remember living anywhere earlier than the house my parents currently live in. I think we moved there when I was about 3.

3) Apparently I was a difficult child. Which is credible.

4) I only learnt how to spell my middle names when I had to get my birth certificate for something when I was in college.

5) I am the second eldest of six children, all from the same marriage

6) My parents are still married, they had their 25th WA a few years ago

7) My older brother Matt is a car salesman. Well, he's kind of a travelling car salesman and snowboarding instructor. He's irritatingly good at just about everything. And so nice that you feel guilty for being irritated.

8) When we were kids he would steal our toys and sell them back to us at auction. My sister and I were dumb enough to pay for them, too.

9) I once nearly ripped off my little toe playing tag in the hallway where my dad had been laying carpet. A carpet tack went between my toe and the rest of my foot.

10) My earliest coherent memory is of eating Twisties in a pushchair when the car had broken down and we had to walk home. It made a huge impression on me because we were never, ever allowed junk food. I can still remember the Mobil station we got the Twisties from, and the old orange car parked up against the Post Office with mum trying to get the engine to turn over. It was a really sunny, hot day. I think I was about 3.

11) Another early memory is of dancing in the rain at kindy, waving a finger-painting and singing "It's a sunshower! It's a sunshower!"

12) My oldest friend is Regan. We played bible-story-flashlight-trivia-questions at a sleepover at her house once. She didn't know the wood the ark was made out of, and I did, so I felt very holy. (It was gopher wood. Just in case they ask on entry to Heaven.)

13) I used to believe that I could be anything I wanted to be.

14) Then I found out that they didn't mean you can *really* grow up to be a dog if you want it enough.

15) I first thought about killing myself when I was eight. I can remember being in the gardens at primary school, trying to work out how to hang myself.

16) I first tried to kill myself when I was thirteen by slitting my wrists. Cutting, ODing and suicide attempts have formed far too many of my teenage memories.

17) I have been vegetarian and vegan at various points in my life. I think those periods were schemas to cover up my eating disorder, a new and more moral way to cross foods out of my menu. Someone pointed out to me that not eating fish in order to kill myself was an odd way to respect life.

18) I do think that battery farming is a crime of cruelty, though. I think chicken, eggs and all pig products should be boycotted unless they are certified by the SPCA.

19) I'm also deeply troubled by the fishing industry. Tuna and salmon stocks are dwindling in most parts of the world. Every time I eat I feel bad, basically.

20) Where is the astronaut food I was promised in those "The Future" picture books when I was a kid?

21) And, come to that, where is my personal helicopter? I distinctly remember an Usborne book promising me a backyard helicopter.

22) I am working my way through the works of Frederick Pohl. Thanks to Svend for sparking that discovery this year...

23) I love The Simpsons

24) I also like Southpark, Family Guy, and Sheep in the Big City

25) I read a lot of books. I've increased my recommended daily intake of non-
fiction this year and found it's increased my stamina and vitality.

26) I also read a lot of newspapers (mainly online) and science magazines. I like to think I have a reasonable general knowledge

27) I am good at comprehension but poor at factoids.

28) I used to live with a cat named Ruby Tuesday who I adopted from the SPCA about 6 years ago. She lived to about about 15 and died in 2004. Now I have a pet Sock.

29) I used to run a freelance web-design business. I gave it up when I went down to Dunedin early 2003 and doubt if I will do it again. Good experience though. I found I enjoyed making websites and writing code far more than dealing with customers.

30) I love tools. I have a very comprehensive Swiss Army knife in my bag pocket and a Seber tool that fits in my wallet.

31) I wish I could afford more duct tape.

32) I have dropped out of university twice, once at Vic and once at Massey

33) I hoped to return to uni in 2004, but it didn't happen and I don't think it will in the first six months of 2005. After I complete the eating disorders programme, then I'll re-evaluate.

34) I hope they don't remember my academic record from the first time around

35) I especially hope they lost my philosophy exam where I wrote all those nasty things about the philosophy department.

36) They must have really scaled that exam because I passed it. Just.

37) In sixth form I used to take peppermints to class and since the first thing the teachers ever said was "Do you have enough for everyone?" I used to bring along 2 kilos worth and just pass them around the class. I left school after sixth form. I think everyone was relieved.

38) The first job I ever had was a Pak N Save deli assistant. I was 15 and worked about 25 hours a week on top of school for $4.80-something an hour before tax. And I didn't even get my revenge by being lazy and unreliable, because I was all enthusiastic over my first job.

39) The most fun job I ever had was being the 'filing girl' at AMP. It taught me that it's the co-workers that make or break a job, not the actual task in hand. I learnt more about adult social interactions in that job than anywhere else I've ever been.

40) I also learnt that some men are predators who can sniff out 'damaged goods' like sharks with blood in the water and that naive young filing girls will not stay naive for long.

41) I swear more than when I was a kid, but less than 5 years ago. Which is good. Swearing is too easily incoherent.

42) I'm incoherent enough as it is.

43) I have a wonderful brother, Ben, whom I am very close to. He's such an inspiration to me, he has such a hard life (he has physical/intellectual disabilities and juvenile diabetes) and yet whenever I see him the first thing he does is give me a huge hug - how many other 17 year old boys hug their big sisters and tell them they love them - in public?!

44) I live in a very cool little flat in a huge old house that's been chopped up into 12 units.

45) I think my unit used to be the scullery. It is largish, and cold. It gets no sun whatsoever in the winter (unless you count the reflection off the neighbours windows for 5 minutes at around 6 in the morning).

46) There is art all over my walls, and a large yellow, orange and red picture of two nude women on the bricked-up fireplace.

47) I love to write poetry. It's really bad poetry, but I still enjoy writing it.

48) I have written a journal since I was thirteen, and have kept them. I'm so glad I did, they are precious beyond belief to look back on now.

49) I took up smoking in 2003, and gave up smoking in 2004.

50) I smoked about 40 a day, which I would have thought made me addicted, but giving up was incredibly easy.

51) Does one cigarette every 6 - 10 weeks with a friend count as being a smoker still?

52) I like hats. I have quite a few of them. I even have hats I have never worn, and will never wear. I knew this when I bought them but bought them just the same. I like hats.

53) I would like to do something worthwhile with my life. I just can't work out what direction 'worthwhile' lies in.

54) I'm not a big movie person. They're very expensive, even on DVD or video, really. And if I'm watching something, I want it to be good, and really resent it if it's not. At least a book is free from the library and you can skip over any boring parts to speed up the action and enjoyment.

55) I don't like TV much, either, particularly not sitcoms and soaps.

56) I like plain M&Ms

57) I do not care about rugby, cricket, netball, tennis, hockey, the America's Cup, or any of the rest of the sports I'm supposed to be 'obsessed' with as a New Zealander. I watch the Olympics and that's the extent of my interest.

58) Sometimes I will have whole conversations with people about the above sports despite the fact I know nothing whatsoever about them. The secret to this is that most people who will ensnare me in these conversations believe that a good conversation is one where they talk for 99% of the time, and where the other participant has a supporting role, requiring little more than eye-contact and encouraging murmurs.

59) I support decriminalisation of marijuana, and legalisation for medical uses.

60) I don't play any musical instruments, and I can't read music. I love singing though.

61) I took singing lessons at college. I had a neat old teacher who was about 80 and taught opera.

62) I could never quite find the self-confidence to be a good singer. Not just performance, but self-confidence to make silly noises in front of my teacher at practice.

63) I have slept on a pull-out couch for 6 years. It's less uncomfortable than it used to be. Perhaps my bones are changing shape.

64) I have no vacuum cleaner. My house is dusty but I just can't bring myself to pay that much for such a simple machine! They're even pricey
2nd hand.

65) I like to knit but cannot follow patterns and don't like paying for wool. So I knit lots of squares out of spare bits of wool and then sew the squares together to make things.

66) When I was in college I made a pair of trousers out of tea-towels and wore them to mufti day.

67) My hair has been various colours including blue, violet, green, orange, pink, and a strange muddy purple that was a result of trying to dye out the violet with Rich Mahogany the day before school went back.

68) The best haircut I ever had was a mohawk that was black with a bright white stripe down the middle.

69) I have never been to a good rock concert.

70) Once I found a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. I picked it up and took it home, kept it under a lamp to keep it warm, and found and mushed up worms for it to eat. It survived for about 24 hours. I cried over it and buried it in the garden. The saddest thing was that I realised it has probably been too little to eat solid food, and too hot under the lamp, and I'd just tortured a tiny dying bird I was trying to help.

71) We had pet mice at intermediate school. One night they died of cold. We buried them at school and I got really upset that the other girls insisted on putting crosses over the graves. My mouse wasn't a Christian, but people thought I was just being annoying.

72) I was bought up in a fundamentalist/extremist/culty-religion thing. I personally think it screwed me over big time but my parents keep telling me that I should be reflecting on the many benefits it gave me.

73) I can't get over how angry that whole church bullshit makes me, and how angry it makes me that my parents refuse to acknowledge that it really hurt my childhood and hurt my life.

74) Mind you it was not all the church's fault. My parents and I were probably not the best match.

75) Things have gotten better between us since I started being less honest.
That sounds sarcastic but it's not. I'm not lying to them, I'm just (at their suggestion!) following my big brother's example and not telling them things that might upset them... although lately, they seem pissed that I'm not telling them things. Go figure.

76) I like dark, bitter chocolate. Apparently it suits my personality type.

77) I love romantic gestures, giving and receiving.

78) Clowns make me uneasy.

79) So do police officers. Ever since the Steven Wallace shooting, and all the controversial cases with David Bain, Peter Ellis, and Scott Watson, I have been very mistrustful of the police and justice system in this country.

80) All my bras are about 4 years old. I tell you, when Elle Macpherson makes a black mesh bra, she makes 'em solid. 4 years of punishment and they're still going stong.

81) Sexy lingerie makes me feel good all day regardless of what else I'm wearing and what else happens.

82) In general, I don't like mass-produced items.

83) On the other hand, mass-production is seductive in a way. Assembly lines are almost hypnotic.

84) Sometimes I think I think too much.

85) Some days I just get too overwhelmed to go out. I don't think it's agoraphobia, really, it's more just that I feel like I can't COPE with anything, and silly decisions like "Shall I get the washing in now, or later?" make me feel so sick with anxiety that I sit on the floor and cry.

86) I think I'm bisexual. I've been in a long-term relationship with a guy but have various recreational encounters with women - enough to make me think I could very happily have a long term meaningful relationship with a woman, probably more easily than with a guy. But then again, who knows? It's kind of hard to meet people looking for a serious relationship at bars.

87) I like photographs of flames. Taking a photo of something that doesn't really exist is kind of trippy.

88) I like stickers, but every time I got some when I was a kid they were too precious to use so they stayed pristine until the adhesive dried and yellowed and the stickers fluttered uselessly to the bottom of the art drawer. So now I take the bold route of sticking stickers as soon as I get them. It surprises the store clerks in Whitcoulls sometimes, but mostly they're relaxed about a few glittery additions to their uniforms.

89) I would really like to take part in a picketing demonstration in parliament grounds. I was thinking of writing inflammatory slogans like "Things Are Fine!" "No Complaints!" "Hooray For Everything!", putting them on large signs and then staging a demonstration during parliament's summer recess.

90) When I'm old, I'm going to be one of those cursing, angry old women who hit people with their walking sticks.

91) I am momentarily fixated on The Sims 2.

92) I think I'm just smart enough to know how dumb I am.

93) My favourite food used to be Viamax, but you can't buy it anymore.

94) I once got a medal for taking part in an Egyptian art contest.

95) If I had more courage (and money for fines and court fees) I would re-write offensive and stupid billboards in spray-paint. Particularly Speights ads. "This new Asian cuisine is lacking something." "A fork, boy" - ! Gosh, they must hire talented writers to come up with that. "This new ad is lacking something" "A punchline, boy"

96) I travel when I'm upset, just jump on a train or in my car and go somewhere. It's actually the going that is soothing, not the getting anywhere. There's never anywhere much better than when I started from.

97) I have still never had a deep-fried Mars bar.

98) I have eaten no new animals in the last year. (To my knowledge. There might have been a few unidentified and previously unsampled bugs.)

99) I have a clock that takes so many batteries (6) that I can never quite bring myself to use it to tell time. I still use it as an ornament. And a convesation starter:
"Yep, that's my clock that isn't going."
"Wow, I never knew blondes lived such interesting lives."

100) Only one person (to my knowledge) has ever written me love poetry, and
I never even got to read it.

Posted by phreq at December 17, 2004 03:10 PM | TrackBack

Good stuff. I laughed a lot, especially #89 :)

Posted by: suraya at December 27, 2003 04:04 PM

Yay for your 100 things! That was great.

Posted by: Jenni at December 27, 2003 04:32 PM

Wow. That was cool. I can totally relate to number 70. I found this little bird once and I tried feeding it sugar water with an eye dropper, but it never opened it's mouth at quite the right time and I just got it's head all wet and sticky. It died after about 24 hours as well and I was so upset. I cried for ages, and got my brother to bury it in a shoe box for me.

Posted by: cal at December 28, 2003 01:10 AM

Great list! I laughed lots too. And cried a little. And a lot of it sounded all too familiar.

Posted by: Fi at January 13, 2004 09:49 AM

Wow. U R 1 wierd which could be why you make curious sense. not I like grls but continually accused of looking like one - long nhair and a waist contribute. I too appreciate nice lingerien, and tinvest in shiny pants, go goirl jest do it.



Posted by: justin at June 6, 2004 03:47 PM

Heck! On re-reading your blog (?). More wow. Dark choco is best anerexia got me locked up; slashing wrists not. Why? Web designer 95-97, bad business model. Try going to WonereWomen sites and altering them in PhotoShop. I have a usefull quote from a chap who just got out of prison: "F... you, I'll break both yours arms".

Posted by: Justin at June 6, 2004 04:20 PM

Deep Fried Mars Bars available at a chipper in Newtown. Not Fish Fins or the new fake Star Fish, but the one past the New World Supermarket as you're heading south on Adelaide Road.
Haven't had one yet but kinda want to try one too. :)

Posted by: Fraser at August 18, 2004 05:36 PM

It's called Rainbow Fish Supply.

Posted by: Fraser at August 19, 2004 09:46 AM complimentwhosewondered

Posted by: half at April 16, 2006 07:33 PM complimentwhosewondered

Posted by: splits at April 17, 2006 12:01 AM
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