April 29, 2005

Five kinds of happy

Oh dear, the one from Iona has made me feel all inadequate already - her writing is so good and also poetic, while mine is so very prosaic. But one kind of happy happens when she has written, and I couldn't choose between the ficlets, and the running commentary on life.

I got a job - I'm so HAPPY! I'll be cleaning for three hours a night five nights a week for a school. I get to spend all day at home, and R does the kids at night, and so we don't have to pay for childcare. We keep all of the tiny wage they pay me, but its enough to stop us going up the wall. The debt wall.

The dearly beloved elder son is driving me up another wall. He interrupts, and is full of unCtrolled energy, and is deliberately doing things to be annoying and get attention (like jumping on the furniture). I know it is brought on by all the changes in his life, and the stress and what not, but it is stressing me out totally. Last night he was so far off the planet I had to use the wooden spoon to even make Ctact with him. I sure hope school makes this better and not worse.

I almost got a ADSL Cnection to the net today. i got the free modem, but for some reason telecom won't let me use it till 5 May. And I can't send mail on paradise now, and need a clear Cnection to send mail, and use a clear Cnection for internet, but I still easily download mail from paradise. So my stmp and my pop servers are different one is clear and one paradise. BUT I WORKED IT ALL OUT BY MYSELF. I am becoming a geek. I am so proud of me.

There is a saffron crocus flowering outside the back door.

For the Friday Theme

Posted by Toni at 08:52 PM | Comments (6243)

April 28, 2005


So the new house is great, and we are starting to really settle in here. For example, I have vacuumed. My parents have been staying here since last Friday which has been so helpful, as R has been away this week in Waiouru (weather report from up there - really very cold), but I suddenly remember exactly why I didn't tell my parents anything when I was at home. My mother has this incredible urge to organise everyone, and she was on my case. So now I know exactly what I need to do each day for the next few months! I couldn't walk past the computer but she'd be checking whether I should be writing a letter to someone trying to get a job. I couldn't walk past the front of the house, but the need for paint was being laid out, and the need to do the job NOW stated, just in case I had forgotten in the last half hour. If the phone looked under employed, I was reminded I needed to ring about the dishwasher, the paper, the jobs... Telling her nothing was an act of self-preservation. My father was the same, but has got better with time. Though he gets stuck into the relationships stuff, Shirl does the day to day minuatae. But it should be noted they did heaps of gardening, dishes after the dishwasher packed a sad, and looked after children too. And offered to help with a large bill I wasn't expecting to be paying in full. So it was actually really good to have them, and overall I appreciated them being here, because it has made the week a lot easier, but I remember why I left home at speed, and why I used to say I would never live in the same city.

I feel like I just out of school though - and into my own home! Woot!

Posted by Toni at 09:21 PM | Comments (46)

April 22, 2005

Three things

1. I've lived in Wanganui for a week and haven't been to the library yet. Those who know me, know this is extemely unlikely and very very wierd.

2. I have never smoked, anything. Cooking or inhaling.

3. I haven't finished that damn thesis!

For the Friday theme

Posted by Toni at 09:11 PM | Comments (208)

April 21, 2005

Back from the wilderness, still in a mess

Moving with two kids is not simple. I can't seem to get stuck in and properly unpack. I have food to prepare, babies to cuddle and a kid to entertain and keep slightly under Ctrol. c has been very attention seeking, and the phrases shut up, and give me some space have been in frequent use in our heads, and escaping through the mouth too.

We've also had a tummy bug, which slowed things down.

R has been doing heaps in the garden, and that's good. Plants die if they are out of the ground too long, while clothes can live for months on the floor - a theory it looks like I'm setting out to prove...

Posted by Toni at 07:16 PM | Comments (1)

April 11, 2005

Over and transient

OK, the movers are here and packing in four different rooms, I've gotta go. See you in about a week.....

Posted by Toni at 09:47 AM | Comments (1)

April 08, 2005

All your worst nightmares

Remember I said yesterday breastfeeding has been on my mind?

Click here for all your worst nightmares about advertising and McDonalds combined!

All the way to you from Austria, via Boing boing (I've changed the link to Boing, it should work better now...)

Posted by Toni at 02:49 PM | Comments (1)

April 07, 2005

Things on my mind

John Tamihere has very carefully worded his 'apology' - it is an apology sortof, and certainly doesn't Ctain anything resembling a retraction. So I guess he stands by most of what he said - and we know what he really thinks in clear speak. It is a bit disturbing that someone who dislikes homosexuals, intellectuals and (it appears) a good proportion of the people that he works with or for, can be Csidered for the position of Minister of the Crown. It doesn't seem to have been ruled out that the caucus could elect him to the Cabinet again. Wierd.

I've been thinking about breastfeeding on and off. I have a friend who was not able to breastfeed her child, and she feels a little jealous of me and the close relationship that h and I have of necessity. And I have been thinking about weaning h, at least a bit. He doesn't really need all the feeds he gets, and certainly once I start work again it would be Very Handy if I didn't need to go and feed him midday. It would give me quite a bit more freedom if he didn't have to come with me if I am wanting to go somewhere for more than a couple of hours. And then there was this article in the Herald. It seems we have no legal right to breastfeed anywhere. I have not personally ever had any unpleasantness directed at me because I was feeding my baby. But i believe I would be very upset if it ever did happen. I have started asking if people "don't mind". And I wonder if I should. If people are uncomfortable with me exposing my breast so I can feed my child am I being insensitive to just go ahead and do it? or are they infringing on my rights by restricting my right to feed my child whenever he needs feeding (or thinks he does anyway, sometimes its not food, its comfort)?

And then there was this over at Bitch PhD. Its a really very interesting rant on how we objectify some members of society specifically children, and therefore trample on their rights. Or trample with more comfort anyway. I particularly liked the comments on behaving like a turd! I've had both those situations! I may even have indulged in turd like behaviour myself. Recently even. Though not in the last couple of years. I'm growing up slowly...

And the baby has to see the doctor tomorrow because he may have a boil on his leg, and we don't have a car, and c is having a birthday party at KC and we don't have a car to transport food, and we have a huge chocolate cake to transport. Logistics, they are so important. Especially when they get screwed up. Last day of childcare for c, in 3 weeks he starts school. How wierd is that? When did he sneak in all that growing up?

Posted by Toni at 07:32 PM |