October 24, 2006

I think the stress is catching up with me

Wimper whinge whine moan groan grumble complain...

(I'm just going to have a wee pity party - if you don't like reading other people's moans about their lives, quit this post now.)

I didn't sleep too well last night, and I think it is because of all the stuff that has been going on in my life. A major but somewhat underground stress is the suicide of my brother-in-law. He rang only a week before he killed himself to arrange to come down and visit us in Labour weekend, and of course he didn't come down. He used to ring me up and he would say "It's your favourite brother-in-law here." I'd always say something bright like Uh, and he would say "Well its your only brother-in-law, so I figure I must be in the running for favourite". He was a lovely kind and gentle guy who just wanted to have a wife and kids, but couldn't seem to find the right person. And I guess he died of loneliness in the end.

Then there is the staff reduction round here. I don't really want to lose my job, but I also feel there are others here who need their jobs more than I need mine. And with R taking the job in Palmy I wonder if I should take voluntary redundancy. If I went to Palmy I wouldn't look hard for work, I would probably stay home with the little one, and generally provide family glue and stability. The repeated moving is stressful for everyone, but if I am home and we don't have to rush so much to do things like cook and shop and clean I think that would help.

And to make sure I feel like an old dog turd I have my monthly which is giving me cramps and sore legs and backache and headache (its not a good month) and we went and played in a gym yesterday with some other families and my muscles ache as well.

No, I didn't sleep well. Yes, I'm sure I'll feel better soon.

Posted by Toni at October 24, 2006 08:15 AM