beautiful monsters

Toys

The kids next door are so cute. The boy comes over asking us if we’ve seen any spiders, cos he likes spiders. The other day both of them came knocking on our door, and said "Have you seen a rabbit? We’ve lost our rabbit. He’s this big, and he’s white..." I wanted so much to have seen their rabbit, to be able to say look, there he is, see his ears popping up among the nasturtiums... But I have not seen a white rabbit. Today they were having a garage sale. I’m such a sucker I bought all these things I don’t need – cups without saucers and saucers with out cups and a string of bells that are hanging from the kitchen door and already driving everyone nuts. Then I found out that all my flatmates had bought things from them too – a purple dinosaur that you wind up and it crawls across the table, a mobile, a colander... all absolute bargains, and all completely unnecessary. Expect perhaps the colander.

Peace

How wonderful, to see so many people around the world united, hoping for peace. It was great to be part of the march in Wellington – it was the biggest march we’ve had in 20 years, or so they were saying in the paper. I get freaked out in crowds, I get panicky, but a friend of mine had her cellphone and I phoned her and we met up and walked together, at the back of the march, so I didn’t get stuck in the middle of the crowd. We walked beside the hare krishnas so we were listening to them singing and drumming – gawd, they must be so fit, they were going hard! Outside parliament we gathered for speeches and music. It really gave me hope to see so many different people, Maori and Pakeha, Palestinians and Iraqis, Christians and Muslims and Jews, all gathered for the same reason. With so many people united against this war, we must be able to make a difference. But its not enough just to be against the war, we must also create peace. I believe peace is more than just the absence of war.

A friend of mine took her son on the march. He’s autistic, and noise really bothers him... and of course on the march there were heaps of people shouting and chanting slogans – they had to rush into a chemist and buy him earplugs. She suggested that next time they make him a sign that says "Autistic Americans for Peace – please don’t shout near me."

Smokefree

I can’t wait until bars and cafes are all smokefree. I’m so sick of smoky bars. It hits me really bad. I get hayfever and asthma, and I have just about doubled my medications since I’ve started going to bars more frequently. I love going, for the live music, mentally and emotionally it refreshes and inspires me, but physically, it makes me feel like shit. The drugs don’t totally suppress the symptoms, and I get side-effects from the drugs. "Having a smoking section in a bar is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool." It’s disgusting.

Ocean

I went out to a friend’s house yesterday, right by the beach, it’s so beautiful. I’ve never been to that particular beach before. I laughed out loud when I stepped onto the sand, it was such a relief. I hadn’t realised how trapped I was feeling in the city. Even though the sea is always quite close, I hardly ever find the time to go to the beach. I should. It makes me feel alive. I stood knee deep in the water for about half an hour, singing at the top of my lungs. In the city, there’s nowhere you can do that without people thinking you’re crazy. There’s nowhere you can go and not be heard. I love shouting and laughing and talking and crying and praying and singing to the sea. I love the way the sea swallows things up, the hush hush of the waves. Sometimes I wish the sea would pull me under and the waves would erase me.

Chocolate

We’re all addicted now, everyone in my flat. Tommy only discovered drinking chocolate a couple of days ago and already he’s chugging back four strong brews a day. Between the five of us we are consuming an alarming amount of caffeine and sugar, and spending most of our income on soymilk. How can I quit when everyone around me is drinking all the time?

Posted by Fionnaigh at February 16, 2003 07:46 PM