April 11, 2007

Clap Your Hands For Jebus

Most... christian... household... ever! It's causing me to think in ellipses.

Thus far I have:


  • Been stealth-prayed for (which is when someone turns a conversation into a prayer for you without even asking)

  • Been told twice by different people that the Holy Spirit was telling them to tell me something (hey, a lot of people hear voices, right?)

  • Realised that it is almost impossible to rest your eyes anywhere inside without encountering some form of cheerful, simplistic propaganda (example: a wall hanging saying Have Joy In The Lord! and decorated with a felt-pen image of a trained seal balancing a ball on its nose and grasping some kind of stick in a flipper. What the fuck?!)

  • Told one off-colour joke (Good Friday being the one day when people of all religions come together to celebrate the brutal murder of Jesus Christ.)

I need a backing theme song and a laugh track to make my sit-com hilarity complete!

I'm so pagan, I'm so pagan, how 'bout you? How 'bout you? Well not really pagan, more just really pissed off, yes I am, yes I am...

I admit that it is making me start thinking about reading the ostentatiously 'left-lying-around' leaflets regarding the 'truth' about the occult and psychic readings, just because to know thine opponent is to be able to freak them out. I'm getting pretty good at doing cold readings of people and getting them to believe I have eeeeerie powers just from glancing around their living rooms.

I shouldn't stir. I remember what it was like to be a christian and have to maintain the patently absurd in the face of obvious evidence to the contrary.

Posted by phreq at April 11, 2007 10:09 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Ew! Stealth praying is icky.

Is the holy spirit telling them to tell you that you and all your friends are spiralling into hell? That's what the holy spirit was always telling people to tell me. That and "Evil Spirit of Homosexuality Be Gone!"

Posted by: Fionnaigh at April 12, 2007 12:01 PM

My brain turned off as soon as conversation went in that direction. It's a useful trick...

Yeah, I always found it so interesting that the Evil Spirits of the 1600's are today's scientific curiousities (like Red Mass, rye ergot poisoining, and 'witchcraft' symptoms).

I bet in 200 years they will look back on the Evilangelical Movement etc as incredibly and embarassing naive and strident.

Posted by: phreq at April 12, 2007 05:28 PM

Nah, there will always be evilangelicals, always were, always will be. They are seen as naive and strident now, as they did back then.
Phreq, why did you decide to get into that household (reasons of good copy and sitcom potential aside)

Posted by: Neato at April 13, 2007 12:15 PM

Because it's hard to find flats that allow dogs, and my little baby Sock is my bestest girl :) Also, I'd rather be around cheerful nutcases than sour sane ones!

Posted by: phreq at April 25, 2007 12:44 PM
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