September 27, 2005

The Joke's On Them

shipoffools.com got 10,000 people to vote on the funniest Christian joke out of over 950 entries. The most offensive was considered to be Jesus walking into a hotel, chucking a bag on nails on the counter and asking to be put up for the night. Personally that gave me more of a chuckle than this one, which was considered to be the funniest (it might say more about Christians than comedy, since I think this is pretty weak):

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said: "Yes."

I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

I know *so* many religious funnypeople who think this way. Funnypeople! "God wants my baby to die of a heart defect, or else God would heal him." I've always found it odd that these same people don't run around naked shitting in the streets, seeing as God should magically clothe and toilet them if he wants that to happen.

Reminds me of a good Jack Handey quote:
My dad always thought that laughter was the best medicine. I guess that's why several of us died of tuberculosis.


... and here's a terrible pun I prepared earlier:

What do you do with someone who won't laugh at your jokes?
They were shot while attempting to resist a jest.

MUWHAAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and try the Political Compass. I got:

Economic Left/Right: -2.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.69

Which puts me somewhere near the politics of the Dalai Lama and Nelson Madela (according to their chart). Anyone here a Mugabe or a Dubya Bush? And is anyone off the wall enough to score in the lower right quadrant?

Posted by phreq at September 27, 2005 09:31 AM | TrackBack
Comments

"God wants my baby to die of a heart defect, or else God would heal him."

The implicit assumption here is that the people saying this are refusing medical intervention, right?

I think it can be helpful to look at the world in terms of providence and determinism at times when *despite your best efforts* things haven't turned out the way you'd hoped. Or in cases when no prevention or mitigation was possible. It is also necessary where people are disempowered by lack of care systems and human rights.

Buddhists tend to say, "loss, pain and grief are all just part of the gambit of human experience. Experience them, for you are human." By no means does this give you the right to perpetuate or ignore suffering that you can do something about, but it does give you a way of 'understanding' things that seem for all intents and purposes, pointlessly crap.

Posted by: suraya at September 27, 2005 11:12 AM

The cult/church that my parents were in basically refused doctors for quite a long period of time. I remember in particular a couple up in Auckland who had a baby boy born with a hole in his heart.

They let him die. And I remember being in the car, listening to my parents speak approvingly of these monsters/idiots/victims and the faith they had displayed.

When I was about 7 or 8 I began to have problems with my eyesight. Huge coloured blotches would appear and block my vision from time-to-time. I remember being terrified of going blind. But since the colours/obscurity came and went, my parents started to insinuate to me I was "making it up", since I could see some of the time. They actually asked me straight several times if I was lying about it.

I got glasses, which helped, but when I'm tired and stressed I still get bad vision problems, still coloured blotches and darkness. But I just remember being so devastated that they didn't believe me. So eventually I just shut up about it and learnt to deal with it. The healing offered came in the form of a cloth impregnated with olive oil, prayed over by a minister.

I agree that acceptance of the things we cannot change is probably a more serene path than railing against outrageous fortune. But I believe that to not use knowledge to save a life is a waste of our abilities, god-given or not.

Posted by: phreq at September 27, 2005 11:58 AM

I was just to the right of Gandhi.

Economic Left/Right: -4.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.36

Posted by: .carla at September 28, 2005 12:35 AM

I was Economic Left/Right -7.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian -5.95
That makes me more left than the Dalai Lama and more liberal than Mandela and Ghandhi.
I've always been known for more pragmatic, solidly realist politics :)

Posted by: jan at September 28, 2005 01:00 AM

My political compass
Economic Left/Right: -4.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.90

Fascinating site.. would almost be tempted to ask future employers to take it so I knew what sort of ppl i'd be working for

Posted by: Zephfi at September 28, 2005 06:36 PM

Right. Am apparently a great big hippy :)

Economic Left/Right: -6.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.79

I'm interested that the Dalai Lama is so far into the libertarian side given that he's apparently made some proclamations on personal choices that are more conservative than the Pope's :)

Posted by: Rachel at September 29, 2005 11:14 AM
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