March 25, 2005

Movin' On

As some of you will be aware from my email, I've changed my contact numbers. It's part of a broader shift away from contact with my parents. Our relationship is at a point a breakdown, so I sent them a letter and just said: let's take a break from each other. It causes me too much pain and emotional damage to try to pursue the relationship I would like to have with them and know I can't achieve it.

It's a strange feeling. I feel like I should feel guilty, and I do a little bit - it's so "fiction" to estrange yourself formally from your parents. But on the whole I think this is the right thing to do. I've thought about it for years and it's just gotten to the point of "why wouldn't I do this?" I couldn't find a good reason.

I'm planning on changing my name as well, but given the amount of hassle with changing ID/bank cards etc, that can go on the long-term list.

I will find a way to keep in touch with my siblings, probably birthday and christmas presents. It's tricky with the younger three still living in my parents' home. I'm sure I will resolve it eventually.

Strange feeling. Emotionally I feel like an orphan, but it's more comfortable than feeling like a reject.

Posted by phreq at March 25, 2005 05:39 PM | TrackBack
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Oh, and by the way - feel free to pass those numbers on to peeps whose emails I didn't know. Just don't tell my parents, 'kay?

Posted by: phreq at March 25, 2005 05:47 PM

Seems like a sensible step, albeit something of a tough one. Siblings are trickier, but something I've found with mine is that just a teeny bit of contact here and there (we *very* rarely even email) can be enough to keep each other in mind. None of us are in the same city but it's ok. And that means that on the rare occasions we do meet up we a) have plenty to talk about and b)it's not so hard to pick up the relationship.

Maybe this gives you a chance to put more of that energy into the relationships that give you something back :).

Posted by: Rachel at March 25, 2005 10:27 PM
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