March 03, 2005

Insanity Peppers

I feel like rambling. Be ye warned and pull up a cushion. That's it. Plump it gently and rest your aching buttocks. Ahhh. Doesn't that feel good?

Right, now let's begin.

I really like colour. We should all take time every day to be grateful that insects can see in colour and have a keen sense of smell and like sugar. If it were different, we wouldn't have flowers, except for stinkblossoms and crapweeds.

I wish I could see in ultraviolet. Are there filters I can wear on my glasses? That would be cool. Let me open a new window and google it... ok. I know what I want for Christmas! A portable blacklight flashlight! It is super cool and would improve my life enormously.

Seriously, it would be *very* cool. Maybe Svend will buy one and let me borrow it. He likes gadgets 'n' stuff.

Just *think* of all the interesting stains and so forth you could find in a new house with a blacklight flashlight!

God, the evil that men (and women) do. The child sex abuse case in France (more than 60 defendants, around half of them parents of the abused kids) is disgusting and heartbreaking. Child sex abuse ruins lives. It is not forgotten. It is not "gotten over". It rots your soul and spreads acid and distrust right throughout your life and poisons and distorts your future relationships. To overcome that rot is an almost insurmountably painfull task. So don't anybody out there dare think that you can touch a kid and it "doesn't really matter, they won't remember".

I wrote to an MP, Lynda Scott, the other week. She's National's Food minister. Apparently, she has a PHD. Can you find the $40,000.00 investment in her reply? (Reproduced, entirely unedited except for the italics, for your grammatical and punctuational analysis):

dear Jenny, thanks for these articles and links. I am always interested in these topics. You are correct we do have an obesity epidemic and getting people to eat less fat of all sorts is necessary. I think the old saying " you are what you eat " has a lot of truth to it.
yours Lynda Scott.

And my reply...

Dear Ms. Scott,

Thank you for your reply but I must say I am rather unsatisfied by it. The “Obesity Epidemic” in NZ was not my point.

My point was that since the FDA has demanded labelling changes for ALL food products except fast food by January next year, why are NZer’s going to be kept in ignorance over the amount of trans-fat in their food? Trans-fat (as you will know, from reading the articles) is dangerous not in that it makes people fat, per se – it is dangerous because it lowers good cholesterol and raises bad cholesterol simultaneously. Trans-fat is a big factor in heart disease and stroke.

Also, I am sorry to be picky, but your grammar and punctuation leave a lot to be desired. I don’t think you would pass NCEA with that standard of communication.



Remember Kids! You can't spell analysis without anal.

Sorry to be picky my ass. It's the only reason I wrote back. I don't care if y'all wanna eat trans-fat plasticky crap. It's probably better than existing entirely on juice and water.


So. Hem. Wine counts as juice, ay? Well, it does now. Mmmm. Juciyness.

I stole a couple a rollies off Deb today. Bad Phreq! Bad! They tasted about as I remembered. Really gross. And yet, I want more! Stupid addictive soot inhalation tubes! "Mmmm, smooth and cool, like hot pollutants", as Kodos (or was it Kang?) said.

Never mind, I am rational enough not to buy any of my own. I'll just nick other people's from time to time.

The weather is slowly turning towards autumn. Do you reckon, if I chucked a sheet over the windscreens at night, would it stop 'em frosting over? Or would I just end up with a sheet frozen to the windscreen? Both scenarios seem equally likely.

You know what I enjoy? Rambling.

I wonder if anyone is reading this? Just to see, I will add some incomprehensible filler - There is a brown cow walking down the street. I wonder if it is any relation to Mrs. Secombe's cow? - or something like that. Does anyone recognise this rather obscure literary reference? I can't end a paragraph with a question mark, they attract attention. A nice dot works well. Like beige.

I'm watching a Kiwi Blue bottled water ad. A raindrop fell... on green ferns unfurling... it sank deep beneath the earth... where it became purer still...
then we put it in a plastic container that will outlive you by 30,000 years... and we truck it to a supermarket that exploits its workers... and we sell it to you... for $3.50 a bottle...

Ah, pure, natural water. Nothing more essential to life. Isn't it absolutely phenomenal that people are willing to pay that much for bottled water?! Coca-Cola and Pepsi executives are running around in their offices with their t-shirts over their heads and giant foam hands with slogans like "You want water with your Whopper? That's an extra 60c, please!" and "Just how dumb can we assume you are?"

If you had told anyone 20 years ago that everyday, non-super-rich people would buy bottled water, they would have assumed the rider "... after the post-apocalyptic breakdown of society."

That's enough rambling. It's time for The Simpson's :)

Posted by phreq at March 3, 2005 05:41 PM | TrackBack

But after all that, and even reading the bit about the brown cow and having it pass by without making any impression on my own $40,000 brain, you haven't mentioned whether you are not going to hospital because you are better or for some other reason. ? .
By the way, I wish I could help with the money thing, but we are totally skint and probably worse till I get a job. Have you explained the whole thing to your parents so they understand? As a parent, I think I can see yours and their side to this, and wonder if they really do understand how skint you are.

Posted by: toni at March 3, 2005 07:52 PM

I often dont quite comprehend what Im reading, but I am reading. Its strangely compelling writing. An imagination of colours.

Your friends appear worried thou, I would keep them informed If I was you. but then advice is like, well you know the rest.

Posted by: Vincent at March 3, 2005 08:26 PM

One last thing,

I appologise for my grammar and punctuation.

And for any future grammatical errors. Or any grammatical errors committed by future generations I am responsible for.

Posted by: Vincent at March 3, 2005 08:30 PM

I apologise not for errors in grammar and punctuation. It adds flavour. And possibly builds character. And tis part of me charm. Deedledee potatoes.

Mrs Secombe sounds familiar, but not the cow. sigh. Need to read more proper books. Read Wuthering Heights a while back - quite the downer.

Juice and water? what happened to rice and tuna? is this devolution? I echo the wishing I could send you stuff, but unfortunately wishing doesn't do much of a job of paying the power bill. I could knit you a warm fuzzy snuggly blanky thing though :-).

Posted by: Rachel at March 3, 2005 09:30 PM

HUGS> I will see what I can do moneywise for you ok hon.
What Katy did at School I believe is the reference. (IM SUCH A GEEK!)

HUGS again.

Posted by: sok at March 4, 2005 03:57 PM

I too recognise it from "What Katy Did at School". It was what their rather 'wicked' friend put into the middle of a paragraph to see if the teacher really read their essays! It was the same friend who carried her soap and towel on her hat to the baths one day. I like that book!

I'm also curious as to whether or not you went to the hospital. You didn't sound so well the other day. I blame the cigarettes! How about, whenever you want cigarettes, you eat m&ms until you don't want them anymore. I'll send some to you even! They're not candy, they're those magical food pills you always wanted. You just need to eat a minimum of 50g a day, plus whatever else you are currently consuming.


Posted by: giffy at March 4, 2005 05:40 PM

I took a few too many pills on Saturday and wound up in A&E for several hours. It was entirely my own stupidity so don't waste too much sympathy.

I suspect that I will end up in hospital or something after the 'all-hands' meeting this week between EDS, psych services, and my psychotherapist. I will keep y'all posted where I can.

Posted by: phreq at March 6, 2005 07:19 AM

Oh, and btw, before anyone gets freaked by my grammer rules, I only apply them to official correspondence. Spelling and punctuation otherwise are pretty much optional.

I was just flabbergasted to get a letter from an MP that was so poorly constructed.

Yes! You're right! It *is* from Katy Goes To School - wasn't their friend called Rosamund Redding or something? She always reminded me of Jenni.

Posted by: phreq at March 6, 2005 07:22 AM

thanks for letting us know you are okay. Do keep us posted as much as you can, it is possible to worry if I don't hear anything for too long...

Posted by: toni at March 6, 2005 07:39 PM

À good site, good short contents of the good work. Ñongratulations !

Posted by: Billy at March 7, 2006 01:35 PM
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