December 20, 2004

On the other hand...

In the interests of balance and all that, I should at least mention the other side of the kids. Sometimes I hate them, and sometimes I wish I had never had kids.

Strong stuff ay?

Until you have your own little bunnykins, you will never understand what this is like. I have never had a twentyfour/seven job before. And it is a never really off duty. My job they pay me to do I don't think about for hours. And if I don't come in for whatever reason, no one dies. The kids are something else. Even if I am having a really intense good time without them, every now and again, the 'are the kids okay?' thought trundles through my Cscious mind. We have rung babysitters to check everything is okay. Even if I leave them with R, I still want to check and know they are okay.

(And yet when R is in dangerous parts of the globe, I tend to leave him to it. There's no-one to ring anyway.)

And when I am with them they are SO DEMANDING. c is the worst, h is still a baby. h is very dependant, but not so demanding. Demanding is when you are sound asleep and he yells "Mum, come here, I need you". That can be from anything like I just need a chat, I had a horrible dream, I don't know why I need you, my ____ hurts. They wake up REALLY EARLY EVERY DAY. They don't want to sleep, but are super cranky if they don't. They suck up all your spare money like a , well there is nothing that sucks up money like kids. You start to run your life round them, you choose jobs that fit round the kids. You drop hobbies that don't fit with them (ie no toxic paint). The house changes for their safety and entertainment. Suddenly the center of your life changes. Its not all about me anymore folks, its all about them.

They hurt. They hurt when they are in you, they hurt when they start breastfeeding (after 6 weeks thats pretty much sorted), they kick and bite and scream to split eardrums. They steal all your good food like chocolate. Our diet has changed to largely what Cn wants to eat. Weekends are all about keeping him entertained, not doing what R and I would choose. What well adjusted adult hangs around playgrounds in the cold? Wouldn't you rather go to a cafe and read a book, or cruise the net??

Suddenly, you know about boob pads, and nappies. And this is just scratching the surface of how kids change your life in ways you don't want to be changed.

Children, anyone?

Posted by Toni at December 20, 2004 07:50 AM

Bit late to change my mind now(-:

He kicked so hard last night it HURT for 5 minutes and I can still feel the place now!

Posted by: Karen at December 20, 2004 07:55 AM

I think the little blighters can give us internal bruising.
The saddest thing is when people find after they have had them that they don't want them. You can never fake joy in your kids, so they always know. And it is real hard to face 20 years doing something so demanding that you don't want to do. No-one is happy

Posted by: toni at December 20, 2004 08:49 AM

Yep. I also think people make the mistake of thinking "oh but I love babies" - rather like Christmas puppies. Yes, they might be your thing when they are really incy and dependent, but they grow up...

I really think that people should at least raise a pet before they try to raise a baby. The first 2 years of a dog's life, the owner learns if they can cope with:
1) Random destruction of any and all possessions
2) Cleaning up bodily excretions and explosions
3) At least one life-or-death vet emergency costing at least $150
4) Finding that their grocery bill has gone up by around $15 a week
5) If you can't find a dog-sitter, and you can't leave it alone, what will you do about nights out that turn into weekends away?
6) Teenage pregnancy or random fatherhood
7) Menstrual blood or semen on the couch, bedspread, or visitors

... and so on. It's enough to let me know loud and clear that I'm not ready for pregnancy, birth, babies or children!

Posted by: phreq at December 21, 2004 08:02 AM

Hey guys, I'm scared enough that I'm not going to be a good mummy... please don't!

Posted by: Karen at December 21, 2004 01:50 PM

go on, define good mummy!

Posted by: toni at December 21, 2004 01:58 PM

First remove the internal organs and inter in a separate jar. Make sure the corpse is fully infiltrated with embalming fluid...

Posted by: Karen at December 21, 2004 03:18 PM


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