We've just come back from updating our wills - with R heading overseas to yet another 'hot spot' and the recent addition to the family, it was about time to check they still said what we wanted them to. Its a great place in my life to let the Ctrol freak play. The question of who is getting what is pretty simple, as there is not much to distribute, but once I get to what happens to the children I want to Ctrol stuff from the grave.
We have an arrangement with some friends that the boys will go and live with them. They already have 3 children, and we like the way they are being brought up. It ain't perfect, but then again neither are we. The only problem with all this is that we don't want the boys not knowing their blood relations.
We have 3 brothers between us, but one is on his own and is more interested in work, cars and beer than anything else, and we don't feel he could cope with the responsibility of children on his own. Another brother is about to become a father, but we are Ccerned about their financial situation and don't know if they could cope with two more children. The other brother is doing the yuppie thing. He loves kids though and would be a great dad. We don't know about his wife - would she be very positive about having children? She seems very career focussed.
Talking to the will writer this morning it seems that the financial issue would not be huge, as they would be supported by the children's inheritence. And perhaps our kids should be staying in the family. The grandparents are not willing to have new children (and I don't blame them). The only way to figure out whether they boys should be living even part-time with their uncles is to talk to the uncles, and that is where we feel rather uncertain. After all, if we don't feel comfortable having a casual Saturday coffee with them, discussing the serious and difficult issue of where our kids would live if we died seems like mission impossible.