Being a natural Hermione type, when we got home the first place I went to was the library to see what I could find on the troubles that R and I have been having. R asked how I found anything, and I told him I typed 'divorce' in the catalogue. That produced a rather studied silence...
Anyway, I got something called the "Couples Survival Workbook", its a bit different from most of the self-help type books I have seen. It works on the principle that you can't change anyone else, only yourself. But in a marriage there are three entities: you, your partner and the relationship. So if you change yourself (or more specifically they way you interact with your partner), the relationship will change. That makes two out of the three, and that usually results in some change in the behaviour of the partner. Mind you there is no Ctrol on what that change might be! The next chapter is on the Cversation/argument patterns in the relationship. We have extremely patterned Cversations about the garage. Neither of us is happy with the outcome of the pattern, but we keep tracking down the same paths. So I might give it a go, and see what deliberately changing the pattern brings...
The kid needs to go back to childcare - he is full of beans and needs some other kid equally full of beans to run him round. We ain't that energetic these days. By the end of the day, I feel like surgically removing the beans...
Posted by Toni at January 1, 2004 07:48 AMIf you're looking for any other relationship books, 'Love in the Real World' by Rhonda Pritchard is also good. She's a Wtgn-based relationship counsellor.
Good luck and best wishes for 2004.
Posted by: iona at January 1, 2004 08:18 AM