Hubby got home on Saturday night. Rang from the airport and said he would be an hour, and rang again after an hour. To say he was at camp (5 mins away from where we were staying) and that he was going to have a few beers with the boys. INSTANTANEOUS combustion. I still don't think he really understands why I was so upset and angry that he would even suggest such a thing. I guess I was angry because the month without him had been so stressful, and letting him go had turned out to be a real sacrifice and hardship, so when he wasn't putting me first when he came back I was furious, and hurt.
Anyway, he only had one guy to go drinking with, and they decided not to because 'the team was over' and 'they couldn't keep living in the past'. You'll note that it wasn't that he thought he might be doing the wrong thing. He doesn't even like me writing about it here - he doesn't think it is that big a deal.
I always thought I was the selfish one in the relationship, but I have now rethought that. I seem to be the one that is left at (ir)regular intervals holding the baby. C is turning four in April, and I reckon his dad would have been away from home for about a year of that. It stuffs with my work life, my study and my other life (infinitely tiny as that is). It leaves not just me, but a whole range of people with more work to do to keep me mostly sane.
I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it, but some things round here are gonna change... At the very least my attitude to what is actually happening here.
Posted by Toni at December 23, 2003 06:47 PM