About a year ago my psychiatrist suggested that it might be helpful for me to spend some time at Ashburn Hall. Back then I didn't feel like I'd exhausted all the options in Wellington, but I've given it a good shot over the past few months. and I still seem to be going around in the same cycles I have been stuck in for years. Frankly, I'm sick of it. And I'm worried about the affect it is having on people around me, the amount I am leaning on friends and family for support. I'm also having a lot of problems managing the balance between side-effects and symptoms, and with specialists scattered all over town, who I only see monthly, it was slow and difficult to sort anything out. At Ashburn all the doctors, therapists etc are in the same place, and talking to each other.
And… I suppose this may turn out to be the biggie… I’ve been having a lot of problems around food and eating. Actually, ever since I was a little kid I’ve had big issues of guilt and secrecy around food. Lately I’ve had a problem with binging and overeating. Although I don’t actually believe that all women should be slim, my weight is having a huge negative effect on my life, and I’m constantly aware of it, ever time I sit in a chair that I can barely squeeze into, or worry about squashing someone on the bus, or get stuck trying on clothes in a shop, and have to get the shop assistant to help pull me out of a shirt. Oh dear, that last one was so humiliating.
The people here have a reputation for being able to help with eating disorders – though the other EDP patients on my ward are struggling with anorexia or bulemia, there have in the past been people with overeating disorders, and the staff seem to think I’ll benefit from the programme.
I really hope so. It’s costing a lot of money to be here, and if it doesn’t work I don’t really have any better ideas.
More later, too tired to think what else to say.
Fi
Sending you lots of positive thoughts. It must be a really challenging time for you. Congratulations for being so brave. I had a friend who spent some time in Ashburn Hall and she spoke positively of her time there. She is a healthy, mostly happy woman to prove it.
Posted by: angela at February 5, 2006 09:25 AMSending you lots of positive thoughts. It must be a really challenging time for you. Congratulations for being so brave. I had a friend who spent some time in Ashburn Hall and she spoke positively of her time there. She is a healthy, mostly happy woman to prove it. I check your blog every now and then on the reccomendation of another friend and fellow blogger.
Angela
I hope it goes really well for you, sweetheart - from the website it looks like a really lovely, positive place. =)
Posted by: Hayley at February 6, 2006 11:42 AMGood for you, Fionnaigh. It must be really helpful to have so many specialists onsite and communicating with each other. I hope that consistency helps you work steadily through your issues. I thought of you leading up to Waitangi Day and wondered where you were, what you were up to. I send lots of hugs in lieu of bumping into you in town!
Posted by: Pamela at February 7, 2006 09:21 AM