talula

Things I've learned about happiness

Lately I have been feeling happy.

At the start of the year I was decidedly unhappy, what with stresses of house moving/failing to sell, sister moving overseas, etc. I've really enjoyed realising that I am happy again and it has inspired me to think about how I managed it. I hope that by sharing what I've learned I can inspire more happiness in the people around me.

Step one for me was listening to a podcast about happiness by Gala Darling, article and download here. Her messages are simple, common sense things but I've noticed that common sense doesn't necessarily occur to me unless someone points it out. It might be the same for you?

So, taking stock of I really want from life and making steps towards making it happen. I'm hugely jealous of Amphigori right now who has finished her job at Trade Me as of yesterday and is going to do painting and sewing and making steampunk accessories until the next job comes along. Sounds like bliss to me. Of course my dream, you all know, is to make a living from writing and I have managed so many giant steps in that process by thinking small and just doing a bit at a time. What you want you can get, eventually, by working towards it. Well, unless you want to fly to the moon on the back of a sparrow. That might be a bit difficult.

Being in the moment has also helped me, there are heaps of cool articles on The positivity blog, the one that really helped me I linked to some time back was the one about questions to ask yourself. "Why am I feeling angry right now?" also, letting myself feel that emotion, just giving into the anger for a half minute or so often seems to bring the real reason to mind, which means I can solve it and get over it.

Gala Darling also taught me the benefit of being grateful. I don't just do Things I Love Thursday because I am a pink fluffy bunny who wants to sprinkle the world with glitter (although I am and I do) it's kind of like therapy. I was skeptical when Gala talked about the benefits of practicing being grateful, but once I'd given it a go I really noticed a difference. I guess it's to do with making yourself think about things that you genuinely like, love or enjoy. You can't help but feel a bit better about the world afterwards. I can recommend starting a Things I Love Thursday list enough, it doesn't have to be online or anything, just start keeping a list for yourself in a notebook or on post its.

Asking for help and being honest about what you want to other people. This is two different things but I think they go hand in hand. In kiwi culture it's not really done to ask for what you want. I'm not too sure why this is impolite, but I know that when I talked frankly to my new boss about how working at Trade Me isn't my life's goal and that I wanted more time to write my heart was beating in a panic rhythm and I was frightened that she would yell at me or tell me I was being stupid, or conceited or something.

I have found that if people like you then they generally want to help you. (Again, this seems obvious but I'm not sure that knowing this and actively using it are the same thing.) As kiwis we are not supposed to ask for what we want and there's a huge pressure stopping us ask others for help. Which is stupid. If you want help and there is someone who can help you who wants to help then why the hell wouldn't you ask them?

The converse is also awesome for making yourself happy. Helping people achieve is karmically good for you. And yes, I just made up a word. Karmically.

Other things that I have found give me happiness: dancing, learning new things, indulging whims by having baths, watching silly movies or reading 'comfort food' books. Eating well, a salad a day really does keep me healthy! Achieving goals, spending time with people I like who are not negative, making other people happy even in small ways.

Please feel free to add things that have helped you get happy in the comments. As with anything I write on here, this is all based on my own experience, so you might have a totally different view on how to achieve happiness.

PoF: It's freaking cold and I am an icicle
CO: Inspiration

Things I Love Thursday

Getting things in the mail from my Giffy, who has sent me a pen from Harrods! Plus a postcard from Jj whom I never hear from. And I also posted off something awesome for her which I am really looking forward to her receiving.

Removing international fraudsters from the dating site. I now have a sixth sense for which photos are scammers.

Being excited about doing new things (selling surgerised tshirts on Trade Me) and for the possibility of people buying my quilts, even if it doesn't work out.

Warmth. I was so cold last night that I went to sleep with the duvet over my head.

Disovering that wacky cake cupcakes taste good with balsamic vinegar instead of white vinegar, although I did add a lot of chocolate and vanilla which may have helped them turn out so rich and delicious. Happy birthday Elric!

I think I have mentioned previously how much I enjoy two things I already liked coming together. Behold: Neil Gaiman + cute baby animals!
cute Neil stuff.

The film festival is all full of neat things, I am working out my schedule tonight now that I have forced Lee to choose what he wants to see.

I also love Doogie Howser, and funny things, so this ad he did for Old Spice makes me happy.
click I should really track down his new show and watch it. I *heart* him.

I also like having Wednesdays off where I get stuff done. I got stuff done this week despite having a nap and a bath.

Swing dancing was cool. It's good to feel like you know what you're doing and to learn more about leading and following and then to have the female teacher from the last block comes up to us at the end of the class and tells us that we're doing well and we should participate in the novice dance competition at the yearly Windy Lindy ball. Hee. Also that on the day before the Windy Lindy ball there is a charm school for girls where they will teach us style and glamour and how to do our hair. Squeeeeee! Lee's sister and me are totally going to do it.

PoF: warm
CO: slow cooker burritos.

RPG

Roleplaying humour can be found here in this short film about Old Skool Dungeons and Dragons in French, with English subtitles. Verily, it is hilarious.

This is a serious game.

We had another episode of The Other Side (PTA) last night where I managed to tap into the stuff I want to have happen with Sam the emo boy/girl. Steve's do gooder troll is caught up with the mafia and had some real tear jerker moments. Plus the characters are starting to come together now and we should all have met each other after the next episode.

I have decided not to do Kiwinowrimo, lots of good points were made in regards to not putting something down to start another thing and also how I've been doing well making myself write so I shouldn't need the community in the same way I did last year.

Best of luck to Matt and Sok who are going to do it though. Do your best!

I gave Kiki to my Mother in law to read and she's sent me a very gushy positive review. It's nice to have cheerleaders.

PoF: warm
CO: new ventures

Wishy washy wishy washy

Kiwinowrimo, or the Kiwi Novel Writing Month starts on June 25th, info here. I am severely wishy washy about whether or not to enter.

You see, I really like the idea of sitting down and making myself write so much and the support and competition of the community is very good for spurring me on.

On the other hand I am over halfway through the manuscript for What's the Worst that Could Happen? and I would feel weird putting it down.

On the other other hand I have put WtWtCH 'down' before to do the final draft of Kiki and picked it up again with no real difficulty.

I could use the Kiwinowrimo to write the sequel to Kiki which I have ideas for. I could spend some time planning the issues, themes and basic plot and then write like crazy for it.

But I feel like I will have the first draft of WtWtCH done in a couple of weeks if I can keep up my current momentum. (10 pages per sitting, even if I have to force myself.)

But if Kiki does get picked up by a publisher, they might want a sequel sooner rather than when I get around to it. And if I can get more published sooner then I can really try to make writing my life.

So.....what do you think? Can I get some input about what you think I should do? Kiwinowrimo, yes or no?

PoF: trackies are so warm and comfy
CO: writing is fun

ETA: I have filled up my latest notebook(which says 'be of better cheer, everything will be fine' on it with WtWtCH. It is full. Now I can move on to the 'where did you get that beautiful bag?' notebook I bought last Wednesday. Kick ass.

Shrewsburies. (Entry 1200)

Lee said that when he was a little kid he thought shrewsburies were a real berry and that's what the jam in the biscuits was made of. My sister liked shrewsburies more than me so I was always slightly resentful when we got them because it meant she was getting her way.

I was generally disappointed that you can't pull the biscuits apart and lick at the jam in the middle. What is it about that jam? It's like sugary red glue. I just tried to pull one apart and you still can't do it, the biscuit just crumbles.

Saturday was awesome fun with craft day and Rock Band. I didn't manage to get any writing done in the morning like I meant to, but I did clean the house and do washing so it's all good. I also was made to watch some Top Gear and it was actually pretty interesting. (Highlights from the one where they drive across America in cars costing less than a thousand dollars.)

I'm steadily getting better at drumming on the hard level although some songs are yet beyond me.

Today it is very cold outside but I had a beignet and got a stack of books out from the library so it's not too bad. I managed to write six new pages today and I intend to write some more after this break.

PoF: warm
CO: printing photos using snapfish. So cheap.

PS. Giffy, and anyone who is interested, I have uploaded photos of my IKEA-ised wardrobes and a pic of the way my wardrobe's rail looks. You can see 'em here.

Things I Love Thursday

I'm feeling happy like you wouldn't believe. I am a big cuddly bundle of grateful , so this is going to be a long one.

The little film we made over the weekend won the competition! Yep, that's me on the page, yelling at my dice. I think being the only entrants kind of uhm, biased the judging in our direction somewhat but hey, a win is a win is a win. Plus it was awesome fun to make.

The film festival brochures are out tomorrow. So excited. Given my current money levels I'm not sure I'll actually get to all that much but I can try! I know there's a shark film I want to see.

Swing dance class last night was cool fun. It's nice to feel like you know what you are doing as opposed to being a raw beginner and Lee felt like he got a handle on something he's not doing right. (Taking small steps, not throwing his partner so far out that both arms are locked straight.) It was also awesome that some of the taxi dancers missed me and were happy to have me back. Makes me feel like I might be a good dancer!

I am not working Friday nights any more! My awesome new boss of awesomeness has worked it out for me and I can now work 8-5 on Friday, same as the rest of the week. I am a tiny bit sad I can't have a sleep in three days in a row, but I can't have my sleep in and go to work too so never mind. Finishing work at 5 will make it all worthwhile.

These classic photos recreated with lego pictures are quite lovely. I especially love the Star Wars ones.

Photos my friends upload to facebook, especially when they add funny comments of awesome like Morgue did with the photos from his flatwarmERing.

Gmail advertising matched to the content of your emails, I know it's kind of weird but I've found some very cool websites through there, including this delightful source of Moleskines notemaker which actually came up because of Jackie's comment on my previous post where I said I couldn't find Moleskines. Love it.

Honourable mentions: LOLcats
Re-reading the Alanna books: it's like going home to a warm comfy bed, reading wise.
I've never really been a shoe fetishist, but these shoes bought by Gala Darling gave me a moment of shoe lust.
Looking forward to craft day Saturday when I can reconnect to ancient traditions of women getting together to sew and knit and gossip.
Knowing I have something awesome to send to Giffy and looking forward to reading her post about when she receives it.
Our Rock Band rock band, Darth Fancy was inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame, that's how amazing we are.
My Lee, who is a honey although he is currently suffering from Man Flu.
The teaser trailer for the Dead Like me movie.

PoF: blankie
CO: I feel good.

Organisey Jenni strikes again

Courtesy of sister in law, I have some new items from IKEA to make my house more organised. I got a little hanging shoe holder and a large hanging shelf unit made of fabric that accordians down to flat. The large holder also has two drawers that fit into it for extra storage joy.

The problem that I didn't anticipate is that these delightfully functional items become rather less functional for me. This is because they are designed to attach by tying or looping over the rail in your wardrobe, but our wardrobe rails are attached on one side and U shaped, the coat hangers just kind of sit in them.

So...how to attach my hangy joy organisers? Well the shoe holder's ties were nice and long so I bull dog clipped them to the rail lip and went ahead and stacked shoes all up in there. It looks neat. I will take flickr photos later when I can be bothered.

The larger one is a much bigger pain, because it has two big strong riveted flaps to velcro together over the wardrobe rod. I have managed to stick it up there with a combination of stick on velcro and command adhesive strips. I am unsure how load bearing this will turn out to be but it seems like it's holding for how and I've put in one drawer filled with wigs and stacked up my leftover batting and a couple of small quilts in there and it seems to be doing fine so far.

Fingers crossed!

The stick on velcro strips are stronger than I thought they'd be. I might have to buy some more.

This afternoon has been good, I have done writing (7 new pages, more to come), hung the hangy drawers, spent some vouchers on Veronica Mars on DVD and bought a couple of new notebooks for writing in from Fancy World. The bad thing is that one of my new notebooks turns out to be filled with plain newsprint. I don't know if I can stand to write on it.....I really want new Moleskines, but they were sold out at Borders and Kirk's last time I was down that end, so it's too hard. Plus, Fancy World books are cheaper and longer.

The other thing I found at Fancy World was Katy, so I brought her home for a cup of tea and a catch up and that was awesome. I hadn't seen her in forever.

Now, to the writing couch! Oh wait, I'm already there.

PoF: very dark colours.
CO:

Well, OK then.

So, I may well be the only person in the world who enjoyed The Happening so...just bear that in mind. The reviewers on rotten tomatoes hates it good (19% overall at the moment) and every personal blog review of it I've seen has been poor. *shrug*

I have to wonder though, everyone's got a lot of vitriol for this movie, calling it
tripe and all, but I suppose it's because everyone loved Sixth Sense so very much. People don't get all bitter about the latest Scary Movie or whatever, because they were never any good. I guess people just got disappointed?

Whatever, I still liked it.

In other, less roundly hated movie news, check out Rolling thunder the incredibly geeky roleplaying movie I was filmed for on Saturday. It's pretty darn hilarious...although maybe not so much if you have no familiarity with gaming at all.

Work was crazy amounts of busy today with a bunch of people off sick, so I got pretty stressed answering the phones more or less constantly. I had a bath when I got home though and that seems to have chilled me out sufficiently.

I am reading Alanna: the first adventure again for the first time in years and years. Man it's good. It's like the world's best comfort food. I am a little cringey at the quality of the writing (so first novel-y!) but I love it all the same. Now, how to get myself a jewelled wizard's rod like the one Roger waves in Alanna's face in that one scene?

PoF: Word to your Mogwai
CO: I can smell delicious lasagne. I want to eat it.

Soapnuts

I've used soapnuts twice now.

The first time I just used them on their own, straight up. The clothes came out clean but smelling....sort of like nothing and sort of weird.

This morning I bought some essential oils from Trade Aid and added a couple of drops of lavender oil to the washbag the soapnuts live in. My washing came out smelling nice like lavender. The clothes are clean and soft and smell good.

Soapnuts are good. The trial pack I got for five dollars contains about enough nuts for twenty washes so they're cheap as well. Biodegradable and eco friendly. Pretty much awesome all round.

I haven't yet worn any clothes washed in them, but they're meant to be hypoallergenic so that shouldn't be an issue.

On an unrelated note, there's an actual urban legend being circulated at the moment. Two unrelated people have told me variations on this penguin abduction story, but happening at Kelly Tarlton's. I love this story so much, I just love the idea of this kid having the World's Best Visit to Kelly Tarlton's. I mean, who gets to come home with a penguin?

PoF: trackies
CO: milky way bars

Saturday's a good day

Saturday is everyone's favourite day of the week, am I right? If you don't have to work it's a day for catching up with your loved one(s), running errands, sleeping in, chilling out and doing whatever you like.

Yesterday was a good example of a perfect Saturday for me: Got up lateish and skype chatted with overseas Giffy. Picked up Margie for a road trip up the coast, breakfast from Nada bakery (delish garlic and cheese roll, Patrick from Spongebob gingerbread man), chatting about the 48.

Arrive at Matt and Debbies and get into some hectic but low key pressure wise filming of silly cheesey movie about gamers and dice. I got to be a person who treats their dice mean to make them roll better, an OTT vampire LARper (is there any other kind?) and a sexy lady who is attracted to men with dice. I also got to wield the camera for a few shots, which made me happy and increased my desire for my own wee video camera.

After the filming we headed back in to Wellington to visit with my brother, sister in law and niece. It was really nice to catch up with them and play some Boom Blox on the wii. Yummy vege lasagne and salad (good for me, given what I'd had for breakfast) and ground almond chocolate cake.

We spent the evening just chatting about books, TV, movies, random stuff. It was neat. Got home late, read for a while and then zonked out sleep.

Now to the shower, for our weekly brunch outing! Oh but first, check out this neat collection of the rooms famous authors work in:
Writer's rooms. It makes me happy.

PoF: Onesie, slipper boots, hooded robe, duvet. I am teh warmzors.
CO: The movie we made yesterday will be online tonight!

The Happening - a fan's review

Disclaimer on this film review: I love M Night Shymalan and everything he's done since 6th sense.

The Happening as you probably know is a disaster movie with various cities being attacked by a....thing. An airborn toxin that causes you to kill yourself. The movie shows you this straight away so it is not a spoiler. M Night sets up some very awesome, very eerie and deeply disturbing set pieces of people realising what's happening at different places within New York City.

The story is a good one, War of the Worlds style survival by running away. The terror that it will catch up with you, the question of why it is happening.

My only real complaints are to do with the act. I ingreally liked Zooey Deschenal but I'm just not sure that Mark Wahlberg was the right guy for the lead. He didn't really sell a lot of the emotions he was meant to. I bet M Night would have rather had Mel Gibson back but he would have been too old for the role. Also the little girl was pretty wooden a lot of the time.

Lee thought the message was pretty heavy handed, but I figure you couldn't have told that story any other way.

It was scary and tense and good.

Things I Love Thursday

I have submitted my book to HarperCollins. They say on the website We will respond as quickly as possible - assessment generally takes four to six weeks, but may take longer. I am a nervous ball of nervous. I must forget about it. I must forget about it. I must.......be a nervous ball of nervous.

Actually I'm half expecting it to be returned to me for inadequate postage. 159 pages makes a heavy fat envelope.

Being persnicketty. Ok, well, I don't really enjoy it, but I like that I can feel comfortable enough to have tantrums and be stupidly angry for a while and then I can get over it and apologise to Lee and everything is alright again.

The PJs that Seraph sent me are just so comfy. I mean, I know I have been all about the onesies, but they have the distinct drawback that you have to get naked if you want to go to the bathroom when you're wearing them. Seperate pj pants and top keeps me warm when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and are still really comfy!

Coming home. There's nothing like leaving work, knowing the work day is over and getting home to a nice quiet apartment (apart from the traffic noise and the music from the vertical bungee) and being able to breathe out and relax and snuggle under a blankie.

Sex and the City movie, because the more I think about it, the more I enjoyed it. I liked the way the characters felt real emotions and were all with the not coping. I wasn't huge on the schmoopy ending but I did like the clothes and the shoes (mostly) and the girlfriends taking care of each other. Plus, movies about writers make me happy. With the exception of Secret Window which had just one redeeming feature and that is the evil squirrel.

Typing when I don't feel like writing new stuff and redrafting as I go. I think I have found the way I work most efficiently. I also like that I have been sufficiently good at making myself write that I haven't had to go to the Te Papa library away from all the stuff at home to make myself do it.

Maybe I should reward myself by going to Sweet Mother's Kitchen with my notebook next Wednesday? Have a milkshake and a hot chocolate and a beignet and be a wanky 'look at me I'm writing in a cafe' type. Sounds awesome.

Honourable mentions: The 'save the planet, it's the only one with whales' badge I bought at Te Papa, living in the middle of town was especially awesome this week with two Courtenay Place base social events, other people being happy about my writing achievements, my Lee who cuddles me even when I've been persnicketty and the smell of slow cookering meat. (Two weeks running for that last one. Thursday must be slow cooker day!)

Please share what you're thankful for today in comments or your own post.

PoF: blankie
CO: hungry for meat.

Edited to add, a couple of hours later....Skipping the make-up swing class to see the new M. Night Shymalan film, passing 30,000 words on my superhero chicklit and spending quality time with Lee.

Linkorama

Feeling nervous and weird. I have three printed out manuscripts ready to go but because of the weird new format vista automatically puts word docs into I was not able to get a print out of the synopsis I have to include.

So, I'm hopefully going to get that printed at home, or I might run back to work and do it there, and then I'm posting off a manuscript to a real actual publisher. So nervous-making.

In the mean time I am eating a kapai salad (om nom nom) and enjoying some wonderful links which I will now share with you. (Mostly from Cleolinda...)

Heee, best news article ever? who is the naked guy from the Sex and the City movie? Thanks Chelle, that was one of my favourite moments in the movie.

Twilight related cringeing. The cd that Bella and Edward bond over in the first book? All romantic like? Is Linkun Park. So says the author (scroll down.) Well, it does suit the incredibly OTT drama angst that the characters personify.

Viral marketing for The Dark Knight coolness, you can participate in the Gotham elections and vote for Harvey Dent. I like the wee video of Rachel Dawes and the news updates about his driver getting attacked too. Exciting!

It turns out that bad TV/movies are bad for your brain, well I'm not sure how many people they tested that on, but it's a good reason to continue to avoid seeing certain movies. Ah, I'm such a snob.

Oh there is nothing better than a kapai salad. Today's was: spinach, bacon bits, crispy noodles, potato, cucumber, mushrooms, cashews, sunflower seeds, corn kernels and garlic and herb dressing. Mmmmm happy belly.

PoF: zawesome!
CO: mmmm salad.

Ways to enjoy a Monday

Obviously getting up on a Monday is the worst thing in the world, but some things this week have made me actually enjoy my Monday. Let me show you them.

Yesterday I went all organisey and spring winter cleaning took hold and I decided to organise my scrapbooking desk, so that I could actually sit down and do some scrapbooking. Inspired by an apartment I saw on livejournal, I set up a string with clips to hang stuff from. Which doesn't sound very impressive, but it looks neat!

Check it out on Flickr where I went a little nuts with the notes feature. So much fun!

Today was mail day, I love love love getting mail, especially when it is presents. Even when it is presents that I have paid for.

I got a proper present from Seraph's Folly of David and Goliath brand pjs, pink and white skully pants and a pink tshirt. So cute and so exciting to receive! I especially love the notes she put on the packaging. Thanks so much!

I got the Threadless tshirts I had ordered through a workmate, Secrets of Magic, Pulp and Time Fades for Lee. The girl's purple background is pants.

I also received my soapnuts so look forward to an entry where I ruthlessly review their performance in laundering. I haven't quite got a full load yet, so give me a couple of days.

I also bought myself some tiny wooden pegs so that I can hang more stuff on my 'washing line' above my scrapbooking desk, and maybe make another line on another wall! The madness!

Then I came home and tidied for half an hour, this is getting to be serious stuff.

Now Lee is cooking me fish with orange juice and plum sauce over cous cous, I am so looking forward to eating it!

PoF: Vermilion is not a colour I am wearing
CO: clean and tidy

Squeeeeee! + OMG OMG OMG freakout!

It is done.

Lazy Jenni is lazy and sat on the couch all weekend and did copyediting, which is lazy physically, but means that her manuscript for Kiki is DONE OMG!

And I am compelled to go back and rework stuff but I won't do it because, like I said, I could keep doing that forever and never move on.

Now, it needs reformatting for handing in! Handing in to publishers! OMG!

Final word count = 65, 781. So I added more than I took away, but I think it makes better sense now. Lee is an awesome copy editor of awesomeness.

PoF: Pjs, slipper boots, hooded robe, duvet.
CO: ZOMG celebration brunch time!

Fashion

I've always always been about comfort first in my dressing. I guess I'm just too lazy by half, plus a lot of 'formal' looking clothes are made out of oogie polyester blends that I don't want on my body. I'm a cotton or wool girl!

Plus keeping up with trends is expensive, and I have heaps of clothes I never wear already. I'm trying to work out a personal style, but I am just too lazy most of the time. Plus, I spend all day sitting down at work so some clothes just aren't practical. (Skirts ride up like crazy, for example).

Anyhoo, I'm thinking about fashion because Gala Darling asked what were you wearing when 1979 by Smashing Pumpkins came out?

1996.

I liked tight singlets from Glassons with baggy jeans* and huge oversized men's checked flannel shirts. I also had a denim cap that I wore quite often and a grey ezibuy hoodie.

Most of the time I wore my school uniform, but I also had trackpants to change into when I got home and my jeans. The jeans would have been some Farmer's brand I think. I can't really remember where they came from but I know they weren't from anywhere cool like Just Jeans.

Most of my shoes were second hand from my sister, is that the time I was wearing brown hiking boot style ankle boots? Or is it the elastic sided black leather ankle boot year? Man those were comfy.

I had one of those Glasson's slip dresses that everyone had, floral that you wore over a fitted tshirt? I can't remember what year that was, might have been earlier, like 1994?

I wish I had more photos from those years. I mostly took photos of other people and 'arty' photos of inanimate objects, so there's not much of a fashion record. I especially wish I had photos of what I wore to school mufti days....because those outfits were always carefully planned.

Lee says he doesn't know what he was wearing in 1996, but it was probably "something awful", he had long blonde hair at the time....so I believe him on that.

So, what were you wearing back in 1996?

PoF: as before
CO: fashion.....

*I remember being very concerned with being 'original' and so I got very bitter when Giffy started 'ripping off' the small top/baggy pants combo. Since I had clearly thought of it first! I think I even wrote angry poetry about it.

Writing about writing

Final drafting is terrifying. Because it is entirely possible to just keep on 'fixing' things until it is 'perfect', but then of course, you never let it go.

I've had a lot of trouble reworking the fist few chapters, looking at perfectly functional, if clunky, sentences and trying to imagine them a different way. How can I say this better? I think to myself, and I don't always have an answer.

I think I have to be in the right headspace to redraft effectively, but it is fun when I can do it. I also like it when I get to sentences that Lee has made a note on and I decide that it's better my way, it doesn't need changing. Conversely, he often has a point and I am able to improve my prose.

I really like it when I get to a page or most of a page and he's not marked anything for errors and I can grin smugly to myself and say 'see? I can do this.'

In terms of dreaming of being a writer in my head success is measured largely in big obvious ways: Getting published, seeing a book that I wrote for sale on a shelf in a bookshop, giving readings at schools or bookshops, doing book signings.

Then I think of things that I would love to have happen but have no control over: My book being offered for sale in the Lucky Book Club, being nominated for the NZ Post children's book awards, receiving fanmail.

Ideally making a living through writing. I am lucky to be in a job that is flexible enough that I can and have reduced my hours, that my bosses are supportive of me pursuing my dreams even outside of the company, that my job doesn't follow me home and take up valuable mindspace. I can (mostly) leave it behind and focus myself on imagining worlds.

PoF: word to your mogwai
CO: sunshine through the window

Borkhardt Hates You

Our 48 hour film is up on youtube, watch it now!

Things I Love Thursday

-Squarecat comics, by Jennifer Omand. I just read volume one from the library, but you can also read them online here. It's a diary told in comic form, with Jennifer as a square cat, her boyfriend Matt is a bird and their friends are other animals.
They are silly little non-stories with punchlines that aren't always that funny, because they're real life stories and in real life, the punchlines aren't always that clever. I love them. Especially ones like this which I can read and go 'I've totally done that.'

-Musical theatre the other day, watching Cats, I was overwhelmed with joy. It was during the Skimbleshanks song, which if you know it, you'll know how upbeat and fast and fun a song it is. It got to the bit where they make a train on stage with umbrellas and stuff and I saw a couple of cats run on with wheels and the thought of them making the train just made me so happy. I was sitting there grinning like a freak. I love it.

-Naps help me function.

-Baths. They remain a wonderful thing in my new bath.

-Snuggles with Lee, I get them every day but I never get sick of them.

Playing font of fame and watching your friends throw themselves into bizarre mimes. The hilarity of people just not getting it, and then the satisfaction when you are miming something and someone gets it.

-Dreaming about becoming a published author and someday supporting myself on it. Also, taking steps towards it, like spending time rewriting the final draft. Yes, final! I am going to start submitting it soon!

I also enjoy leftovers for lunch, looking at Giffy's bento boxes, playing with Softimus Prime, browsing the IKEA catalog, and looking at Wigs having breakfast. Also the smell of meat slow cooking. Mmmm.

PoF: grey
CO: not enough time for the things I love

It should really go without saying, but please do add your own list of things you are thankful for this week. The more happiness we share the more smiley I feel...and I'm grumpy and sick, so I need it.

Wednesday whine

So, I had one of those "I'm awake for no good reason" nights and woke up feeling decidedly un-chipper.

Mid morning I had a disturbing eventuation in the health department and managed to wrangle an appointment with my doctor straight after work. Thankfully nothing serious, but I have a bunch of pills and stuff to take and do and I have to go back in a few weeks so she can check that the meds are working. I am purposefully being vague, you do not want to know details.

So I felt miserable all afternoon-off and had a bath and a nap and still don't want to go to swing dancing, even though I feel guilty for not going to swing dancing. Dumb.

I did manage to copy edit some of Kiki though and I'm happy with what I've done so far.

A workmate recommended this website called snapfish which is an New Zealand based photo printing website. You upload your pictures and they print them for very cheap indeed. When you first join you get 20 free prints and right at the moment (until June 6th) they have a .1c photo printing deal on with a maximum of 50 prints for .1c!

So I've ordered a bunch of prints, since even with postage it works out cheaper than printing on my printer and a heap easier. They also have a whole store where you can make bags and mugs and photo books and collage posters and canvas prints and teddy bears! So cool.

Last night I saw Wellington Musical Theatre perform Cats. It was very good. I think I saw Quaxo fall over at one point, and I was disappointed with the high 'A' part in the Jellicle Cats song but other than that I loved every minute. Something about watching people perform who are clearing loving every minute is very satisfying.

The new style costumes and set were cool too. The traditional junk yard was replaced by roof tops with lights coming from windows, smoke from a chimney stack and a show board with flashing light bulbs around the edges. I was pleased they did "Growltiger's last stand" instead of the "Pekes and the Pollicles" as I much prefer the music.

To celebrate, here's a video of the awesome Elaine Paige doing "Memory" which is the song what everyone knows from Cats. She kicks ass at it.

On the other hand, I'm sad that our 48 hour film didn't get into the finals and some teams that always do, did. Maybe we're doing something wrong, maybe we just aren't subversive enough? I mean, I feel like we're pretty subversive, but maybe we need more swearing and naked girls and people getting hacked up.

Then again, if that's what it takes to get into the finals, I don't think I want in after all.

PoF: Grumpy mope
CO: staying warm

Ramblings

One of the problems with going on holiday is that you don't have your familiar bed to sleep in, so generally sleep is broken or not as restful. Therefore you feel tired at the end of the holiday.

The other major problem with going on holiday is that it doesn't last and you have to come home.

Highlights of the weekend:

Font of Fame madness....so much of it.

Onesie club represent.

DVD sale at Levin Warehouse. (Breakfast at Tiffany's, Animatrix, The Big Hit, Die Hard 3, Vanity Fair) Die Hard was for Lee.

Relaxing in the sun with girly chat.

Watching all of Under the Mountain back to back. I really liked it, although it hasn't dated super well, the story is still tight. Go the guys acting as Wilberforces, they were awesome.

Actually managing to get a couple of pages of new stuff written and doing some editing of the working draft of Kiki once Lee had finished his copy editing, despite having interesting friends to talk to at all times.

Being in such a dark, quiet place. Nothing like silence at night time. I am also, strangely, very happy to come home to the middle of the city and look out at all the cars and people and hear the noise.

I am also pleased to come home to my bath.

I had terrible food in between meals all weekend, chippies, burger rings, chocolate, lollies, and skipped breakfast every day. I did have good food at meal times though and managed a salad a day to balance it out.

Last night I made s'mores based on Amphigori's instructions, using Round Wine biscuits, dairy milk chocolate and flaming marshmallows. Om nom nom. Couldn't eat more than two though and they may have lead to an all night belly ache. Still totally worth it.

Really enjoyed this
Oprah's tips for getting the life you want article Gala Darling linked to. Must try that accepting the negative feeling and letting it dissipate thing.

Also I found on the positivity blog this neat list of questions you can ask yourself to keep on track to the life and attitude you want.

Also via Gala, this astounding project where the Photographer takes a picture every day for 18 years until he dies.

ETA: Looks like my latest baby quilt is being enjoyed very much already!