as a teenager, I was not immune to angst. Which shouldn't surprise anyone, really. I never cut myself (too scared of the pain and mess), I never attempted suicide (though I used to think of how I could do it), what I did do is write my will, on refill in ballpoint. Outlined how I'd like my funeral to be, how my worldy goods should be distributed, and what they should say in school assembly if I died.
I wish I'd kept one of these wills, as I can't really remember very much about what I said. I know I bequethed my teddy bears to my mother. I think I probably left my books to Regs. I can't really remember what was more important to me than those things.
I also know that I didn't want to school to be forced to sing Amazing Grace at my memorial assembly, because we had been made to sing it a couple of times, and I objected. It being a public school and that being a religious song. I think I requested a song be played instead, but I have no idea what song I would have chosen to represent me back then. Something cheerful and therefore ironic I suspect.
Anyhoo, I haven't got a will now, so if I die, I want my funeral to be like Jim Henson's. I read about it in a book called What a Way to Go by Adele Brown. He said that his funeral had to be happy, full of stories about him that were funny, and no-one was allowed to wear black. Any colour under the sun but not black. Carrol Finney attended in her Big Bird costume and sang "It's not easy being green".*
I'd like to be remembered that way, thanks.
*I don't see how a bird that is clearly yellow would know, but there you are. It happened.