It isn't really in my nature to post these, but this one is just so right. I can imagine it working for whiny cats too.
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
and here's a funny list. Who can resist funny lists? Not I!
Things to do while watching Lord of the Rings.
• Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
• Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
• At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
• Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
• When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
• Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
• When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
• In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
• Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
• Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago.
• Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
...and finally something that could keep me entertained for hours and hours badgerbadgerbadger.
Posted by jenni at November 27, 2003 08:11 AM