Schrodinger's Cat

New stresses for new year

Useful word I picked up from Gravity’s Rainbow is brenschluss (German), which is the point in the flight path of a rocket missile where the engine stops and gravity brings the projectile down to its target. Brenschluss is the top part of the parabola shape of the flight path which gives the book its title. Pynchon uses the parabola shape as an extended metaphor several times, applying it to the seasons… We’re just past midsummer here, the evenings are starting to come sooner. There was that strange blast of wintery weather a few days ago – a sneak preview? Just on the cusp of the downhill ride… for me it’s late summer now, I’ve had my holiday, summer ends on February 22nd. On February 23rd I start the journalism diploma at Massey so will be back indoors for most of the time. Pity, I really like working outdoors – even if my arms are all scratched by the boxthorn it’s mentally quite relaxing. Commuting to Paekakariki has been a bit of a hassle but worth it to get out of the city. I’m already looking forward to next summer – get a job & save money in a reasonably remote location, somewhere with beaches and birds and trees and good fruit & veges and do some serious writing… get a novel together and then fuck off overseas by winter next year.

I like the idea of the winter coming in the middle of the year in the southern hemisphere, gives the year a kind of mythic journey into the underworld & back into the light structure. I actually enjoyed the last couple of winters in Wellington. I even found myself playing in a band The Winter last year, which was fantastic fun. Playing in a band was more fun than playing solo, which I see mainly as an extension of my writing.

Unfortunately our last gig was at the end of October and since then things have kind of ground to a halt. Mike’s been writing a novel which is now mostly done –demands massive attention and he’s declared a moratorium on live playing. Sam the violinist & fourth member of the trio left town so there’s also the problem of needing a preamp for the cello, and not much in the way of funds with which to obtain one.

Now I’m stuck with having booked Valve for a gig on February 19th with Foisemaster from Palmerston North & having trouble a) working out what I’m going to play (also kind of out of practice over summer) and b) who else can play. Bunch of people having been umming & equivocating. Kind of tempted to pull the plug on the gig and have another go at it later when I’m better organized, as a badly organized gig is just an embarrassment.

My sublease on the summer flat is also about to expire and I need to find another place pretty quickly. Not much luck so far – it’s a hassle working out of town and not getting back til the evenings so there’s not much time to be looking and with the student rush it’s the wrong time of year. My sister whose house in Brooklyn I could always stay at in times of awkwardness has recently left town, so do I have to move into a backpackers? Or take up residence on a couch somewhere? Anyone out there looking for a flatmate??

And my part time Saturday job at Dept of Conservation visitor centre got cut off without explanation, just when I was in need of some funds. They’re supposed to give at least two weeks notice so I’ll have some kind of meeting with the manager to sort out what happened but it’s a nuisance.

Stress levels rising, sure it’s probably healthy. Could be a hell of a lot worse – at least I don’t have HIV. I’ve also got a 6000-8000 word book chapter to write in the next three weeks (it’s half done). I find writing non-fiction is ultimately quite rewarding and a hell of a lot easier to get published than fiction, but fiction’s much more enjoyable to write (when I’m not stuck for a subject). Just hope I can overcome these immediate obstacles and stay focused enough to get something good out of the journalism course. Bumpy ride coming…

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Posted by fiffdimension at January 29, 2004 08:45 AM | TrackBack