beautiful monsters: July 2005 Archives

July 19, 2005

No one

has said anything about my new colours.


Posted by Fionnaigh at 08:46 AM | TrackBack

July 15, 2005

Zimbabwe - The time for action is now

Last night I went to the It’s Just Not Cricket public meeting. Henry Olonga was very articulate and passionate, it was just a pity that Rod Donald went on for so long. Politicians, puh! But perhaps I was just grumpy because I ended up spending 14 hours at work yesterday. Not working for all of them, but at my place of work nonetheless.

Some of the stories Henry told were shocking, and there were moments when I wished I hadn’t turned up, I felt so sickened and upset. I can’t even bear to type up any of the stories. The sort of stories that make you feel like giving up on humanity completely. Giving up on life. But Henry also talked about joining the MakePovertyHistory gathering in the UK. He noticed the banner hanging over St Andrew’s, and talked about how that movement had grown from one person’s idea, one spark, and now it was a worldwide movement. Once we get the momentum going, change is possible.

Henry doesn’t think the tour should go ahead, because;

a) It would be very hard for the team to protest effectively if they went. Black arm bands are out now, because since Henry and Andrew wore them, new rules have been created. There’s a $US25,000 fine for wearing a black armband for political reasons, and you can be suspended.

b) They could find themselves accidentally promoting the regime – eg the Victoria Falls incident. A visit to the areas where homes have been bulldozed would be a good idea, but Henry questioned whether the government would allow it.

c) Mugabe will make money out of the tour.

This morning I encourage you to send a postcard to Helen Clark, voicing your opposition to the tour. Talk to people, workmates, friends, family, about the situation in Zimbabwe. And you can make a donation to CWS, who have a partner organisation already in Zimbabwe distributing food, tents and blankets to those made homeless.

The evening closed with the words of former race relations conciliator Gregory Fortuin, saying When Mr Mandela was asked about the 1981 Springbok tour during his visit to New Zealand in 1995, the former President said “When we heard that people in a country thousands of miles away were protesting about the loss of our humanity, the sun shone through the dark corridors of the cells on Robin Island.”

Posted by Fionnaigh at 07:56 AM

July 09, 2005

Life of (Bishop) Brian

War. Poverty. Climate Change. Rape. Murder. Pollution. Terrorism. But you know what the most dangerous evil is? According to Bishop Brian Tamaki, it’s the Homosexual Agenda.


Well, having just said over on Siobhann's blog that I've given up on going to protests, I actually had fun out in Lower Hutt last night, with the pizza, and the singing; “We’re going to keep on loving boldly…” and “Swing low, sweet chariot, Queers are everywhere…” and “going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married…” My friend Sue was catching up on some knitting. A few of us talked about our own experiences of homophobic abuse, but then we moved on to more cheerful topics, like who was getting civilly united this year, and what we were going to where to the ceremony.


Meanwhile across the road Bishop Brian was giving out free copies of his DVD:
A Social Disaster Has Hit Our Nation
30 minute Exposé
A Government Gone Evil
A Radical Homosexual Agenda
The Media: A Modern Day Witchcraft
The Retreat of Religion in New Zealand

Wow, that’s some impressive subtitling.


I didn’t think that I could sneak in very inconspicuously with my rainbow socks and “IT’S NOT MY DE$TINY” t-shirt, but some others from our side of the road ventured across. Apparently he called us “social terrorists.” Yeah, cos singing our songs was right up there with blowing up buses full of people.


Anyway, I grabbed a copy of the DVD. I’m a sucker for anything free. (Actually, you don’t even need to front up for a disk, you can watch it on the website).

I really don’t get the appeal of Bishop Brian. I mean, compared to his peers in the United States of Jesusland, he gets an F minus for charisma. Sure, he’s obviously practiced his lines for the DVD, he doesn’t stop and start and stutter as much as he does in his sermons and TV broadcasts, but his presentation is so flat, the review compares him to the public service announcements from “South Park”. I just don’t get it. Where’s the hype? Where’s the passion? Why do so many people follow this man?

The content of the DVD is pretty scary. He uses homosexuals as a scapegoat for all society’s evils, including child prostitution, child abortions, violence and perversity on TV, the breakdown of families, and of course the incarceration of Swedish pastors. He declares New Zealand to be in a state of emergency, comparing this social crisis to the Boxing Day Tsunami.

Unbelievably, he uses a picture of our minister, Margaret, with the heading “The Retreat of Religion in New Zealand.” And he uses his favourite Martin Luther King quote, again, - with footage - despite the fact that the King Institute wrote Destiny a letter last time, saying that “one of Dr. King's closest advisor (Bayard Rustin) was gay and Dr. King did not believe in what was done to him and how he was treated here in the US at the time. For these reasons and many more--we cannot issue any sort of statement that would condone putting someone else's spirit and dignity down in favor of another. "

A Government Gone Evil
Bishop Brian says that our government is inherently evil, because most MPs didn’t swear on the bible, and because of various “isms”, including Philosophical Pluralism, which is “particularly dangerous” because it means that no one religion can pronounce itself as right and true and the others as false.

Then he goes on to say that “the driving force behind the Labour party is the homosexual agenda.” None of the people I spoke to tonight were very sure about what the homosexual agenda involved. Brian says that abortions and child prostitution are part of it. (Actually the Real Homosexual Agenda has already been exposed, and it is here. But back to Brian).

A Radical Homosexual Agenda
Brian is still going on about how two male MPs were photographed kissing in parliament, and this was published in the newspaper. Apparently this is still shocking.

His next gripe is about how “the homosexual lifestyle is now being taught to our children.” He has a couple of teenagers sitting with him, and he asks them if they can “be helpful” and tell us about some of the things they’ve been taught about homosexuality. The girl describes a poster in a classroom, with all these young people – about 16 years old she reckons, and it says “proud to be queer.” Brian interrupts “so it’s got proud to be queer with all these little children…” Huh? Most of the 12 year olds I know would object to being called “little children”, never mind the 16 year olds. Then the boys talks about a role playing exercise they did, where they imagined what it would be like if everyone was queer, and what it would feel like to be the minority. Brian says incredulously, “how old are you? 14? And they were doing this in the class? One of our schools in this country?” He keeps on saying “in our country as though he can’t believe it.

I really fear for the children in Destiny congregations who will one day realise that they are queer. One day their growing sense of unease is going to solidify, as they realise that all this demonising speech is directed at them. As if the suicide rate among queer youth wasn’t high enough already.

The Media: A Modern Day Witchcraft
Evidence for the media being witchcraft is:
Sexually explicit material on TV
The homosexual content has intensified, as is even emerging on child cartoons (?? Where, where?!)
New Zealand’s Chief Film Censor is… a self-confessed gay!

The Retreat of Religion in New Zealand
The section on religion is all about how many people said they were Christian in the census, and if we all voted for Destiny we could really make a difference. The last third of the DVD is just a big ad about how we should all vote for Destiny NZ, and it’s quite boring.


In fact the whole thing is relatively mild, compared to what Brian usually says in his sermons. Sometimes the DTV sermons are on the Destiny website, and in one of them he said he took his hat off to Lot for offering his daughter to be raped (because that would have prevented homosexual acts being committed).

Here’s another rant transcribed from the sermon:
“Listen to me now - listen to me carefully. You cannot - be born - a homosexual or a lesbian. You can be born - either a male - in the beginning of Genesis - or a female. When God created Adam - the man - he was acrid in his creation. He did not make a man and said well it could possibly be a female. So he thought, well, they will start doing that. So he says, I’ll fix that up. So he says I’ll make woman. Create woman. So there’s a difference between the male and the female. So in the book of Genesis he goes into the side of Adam. Takes a rib out, because, the reason being that these two shall be one. They will be responsible for procreation. Reproduction. Of their kind. And it’s the only way that two human beings, a male and a female, can produce children. Homosexuals can’t. Transsexuals, in a homosexual relationship, can’t. There’s no other relationship on earth that can procreate. Huh? So he took Eve out of the side of Adam, listen, the bible says, then he closed the way up. For the TV viewers, you’ll get it from the bible, from Genesis. He closed the way up. Why? To tell us that there can never be a woman trapped inside a man’s body. [Audience cheers] So if you’re born a male, you are a male. If you are born a female, you are a female. You very very very very rarely see females try to be men. Though there are some. I believe there’s a couple of twins. [There’s a long pause but no one seems to get the joke] Topp, ah, s, sorry, huh, I, hahaha. They are females wanting to be men. But listen, if they have a sex change, they comb their hair different, put a, put a, a black singlet on and gumboots, you are a woman. You are a woman. Look like a man, and pull your pants down and tell us, and say I’m a man, you are a woman. [audience laughs] May as well have a laugh while we’re going through this stuff cos it can get so depressing. Huh? But it’s mostly men who have lost their way, who wanna be, what is it? Drag queens? Go around in high-heeled shoes and lipstick on, and they – [puts on silly voice] Hello darling, what can I do for you today? [audience laughs] – big hairy arm, and hair out of his here, hasn’t had a throat change yet, so [deep voice] what d’ya want, darling? [audience laughs more] Limp wristed, ha, - why now come on, no, those people probably thinking why, why are you laughing, this is serious, no, well, you’ve got to, you know? Honestly, honestly, kids at home, dad coming home, mum? He is here he is, and he walks in, he’s got lipstick on, he’s got a big wig, he’s got high heels, a little – [silly voice] hello kids, it’s daddys just been home and I’ve been working at the brothel, which has been legalised. [audience boos and shouts] Hey, I couldn’t help myself. [audience claps] What do you think the kids are going to do? Looking at mum, looking at, well, what is it? [audience laughs] And little kids have gotta figure out, is that a man, or is that our dad, or is that a woman? Gee, has anybody thought about the kids? You ask the kids, and they haven’t even been taught yet, and they’ll say where’s daddy, where’s mummy? Not where’s daddy, where’s daddy? Or where’s mummy and where’s IT? [audience laughs] Huh? I mean the kids are getting confused, what is IT? What is THAT?! That’s your dad it’s just he’s dressed is differently and puts lipstick on, tries to talk a bit different, and, well, he’s looking, well hey, wonder why our kids have drugs? Tryina escape! I’m out of this! Give me some P! Some tinnies and some popaholics. I’m just gonna hang out with my other twisted friends. Why not, because the whole society’s getting perverted. Can’t even find out now what’s who’s a woman and who’s a man and what is THAT? Ooh, halleluia. God says it’s wicked.”


The thing that frightens me most about Brian’s rantings and ravings, is the way that he completely dehumanises people like me.

Let us not forget that people have been burnt at the stake, and gassed in concentration camps, simply for loving people of the same gender.

With the holocaust still in living memory… if someone was referring to Jewish people as “IT” and “THAT”, blaming them for all the evil in society, and saying that they were possessed by demon spirits… would New Zealanders tolerate these kinds of statements? Would hundreds of them come to listen to him speak?

And yet.


“I met this beautiful blonde Jew. He invited me to spend the night. In the morning the Gestapo came…I showed my ID – not on the list. They took him to Auschwitz. It had a different value then, a night of love." – Gad Beck.

Posted by Fionnaigh at 03:02 PM | TrackBack

July 06, 2005


My favourite photos from the protest in Edinburgh (swiped from Indymedia). Story on cankerous beet.



Posted by Fionnaigh at 09:43 AM | TrackBack

July 04, 2005

The Ex-Libris Papers

The rules of play: everyone brings a book along and describes it, then people have to make up a plausible (or amusing) first line for the book. All the lines are read out and everyone has to guess which is the real first line. The results of previous games can be found here and here.

There must be few things less dignified than kneeling on the floor lapping cream from a saucer when one is used to bathing in finest asses milk. (KJ)

Catching a mate was not the problem – it was knowing how to reel one in. (SM)

It was a dark and stormy night in the month of September; Jane sat under the tall oak tree and watched the water drip onto the leafmould at her feet; she huddled ever more closely into her cloak, and added another log to her fire as the rain hissed and sizzled on the glowing coals in a parody of a snake hiss which reminded Jane that she was down to her last octopus steak and that she would have to use it as bait to catch a wildebeest for her breakfast the next morning, but the weather foretold bad hunting as the herds never came down the mountain if there was likely to be less than 9.75 hours of daylight and Jane scowled as the wind blew the rain into her face.

Few topics arouse such excitement and wonder as the endlessly engaging subject of the formation of soil material! (JF)

All parks have seesaws. (AWB)

Calendula Portwine, the storekeepers wife, was a pretty old woman, and sharp as a knife. (CG)

We’d snuck Henry into the tower before. (AWB)

Jane stared down at the water, the fish spiralling, swimming, moving with the current. (BN)

Just how exactly the bet came about is an interesting story, perhaps the strangest story ever to have been conceived in the small sunny town of Dannevirke. (SS)

You can smell a toll coming, the air for miles around takes on the odour of an open landfill. (?)

We decided not to go to New Zealand. (BN)

Quiet at first, they might have been mistaken for the sound of the wind in the neighbouring trees, but these voices never subsided, never ceased, their murmur became clamour. (PB)

Maria was old and the stairs were steep. (CG)

It was a dark and stormy night; rain washed the streets lit by the dim glow of halogen bulbs and wind fought for possession of the earth; on a small farm outside the town Hugh the blind farmer felt his way along the fence line to his precious compost bins where he added the lime and potash to the mix; the necessity for this heroic feat was that of timing, unless the addition was made at exactly the right time the mix would be useless and the rhododendrons would be blue instead of pink and thus losing him the first prize in the annual Federated Farmers Rhododendron and Begonia Fanciers Club, not to mention the respect of the community and the love of the beautiful Vivienne. (ET)

According to my brother Steve, this should be a really short book. (PB)

Come on old crooked lady, show your face crooked lady, we have been waiting long – these are the words Gina was welcomed with at night. (MD)

It was a dark and stormy night and the wind was howling in the trees; Hugh the blind caretaker of the churchyard looked out over the rain drenched misty plain; as always the sound of children playing drifted through the open window before him and he gripped the spanner he held ever more tightly thinking angrily of revenge and went down to the cellar to fix the leaky pipe. (ET)

Once upon a time, the linoleum was green. (Actual first line of a novel I can’t remember the title of right now)

I wish you would speak normally for a change – why do young girls always speak with high pitched voices? (MD)

According to her, bathing in coconut milk not only does amazing things for your skin, but also your libido. (PB)

Mehitabel is perched with perfect poise in a spot of sunlight on the mantelpiece. (FM)

Dave Gorman sat at the window of his Tuscon villa and looked out at the day (which was neither dark nor was it stormy) and reached for his Tequila sunrise with his shaking hands; the news from Danny was unsettling: that there were so many people in the world who shared his identity was uncanny, especially that since before he was born there had been no reports of any Dave Gormans across the globe and suddenly a whole covey had shown up out of the blue and here was Danny, convinced that it was a conspiracy to get hold of the last remaining truth of the universe while at the same time causing confusion to any people they could come along in the interim and Dave was scarcely keeping hold of his own frail grip on reality. (ET)

This troll, that troll! (KS)

“Where?! Where?!” (AWB)

Posted by Fionnaigh at 11:15 PM | TrackBack