beautiful monsters: this is what happens when there's no TV to amuse me

April 11, 2006

this is what happens when there's no TV to amuse me

I tried to turn on the TV, but it made fizzing noises and smelled like fireworks. So, in desperation, to distract myself from the pain of missing House I turned to the internet.

Did you know if you do a Google search for Jesus, the first site that comes up is Jesus Dress Up.

And did you know that, as well as being the beginning of Passover, today is National Liquorice Day (presumably US) and Walk On Your Wild Side Day, according to

If you haven’t read this report, you should:
Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday as light emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighbouring countries into darkness. As the hours progressed, conditions only worsened.
Scary stuff.

The Onion also has great t-shirts to be wearing if the world ends, or even if it doesn’t. I want “I Wish Somebody Would Do Something About How Fat I Am” and “I'm a Fucked-Up-Chick Magnet”.

Today’s person of the day is Joycelyn Elders, M.D. The first black US Surgeon General, she was once asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, "I think that is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught." Clinton fired her.

A friend, a senior citizen, stopped me after church one Sunday and said, “Please tell the children that masturbation won't hurt them. I spent my entire youth in agony waiting to go blind, because my parents told me that's what would happen if I masturbated. I guess I could have stopped, but going blind seemed the better option.” - JE

In other news Space debris disrupting global prayer services, Girls Gone Wild Released Back Into Civilization and Bewildered Meek inherit Earth

Posted by Fionnaigh at April 11, 2006 11:57 PM | TrackBack

Heh heh, was surfing the net and found this page and oh my gosh Fiona Mackenzie (but not I know!)
Funny funny. My strongest memory of you would be not being able to go to your house to play after school cause I had a bad earache and Mrs West looking after me until my mum came to pick me up.
I remember being gutted!
I work for the Mental Health Foundation now. You should send me an email.x

Posted by: Sheree at May 10, 2006 01:51 PM