because through bleary eyes the day seems unaffected, the familiar surroundings are innocuous.
Then there is the moment of remembering.
It is slightly surreal, like an iceberg that suddenly sinks out of the blue sky, bringing all it’s cold and weight, it slights into place just below the ribcage.
For a while it sits there, the jagged edges send sharp pains through the body until eventually the cold brings numbness.
And then it is time to push the covers aside, step carefully over the rubble that is strewn across the bedroom floor, and roll up the pain like it’s not a huge block of ice at all, but a small rug, or a blanket, that can be squeezed into a cupboard and pushed away until there is time and space to let it unravel.
For now it is time to go to work, and remember to eat lunch, and pick up prescriptions on the way home, and do the dishes. Life goes on.
Posted by Fionnaigh at August 17, 2005 11:41 PM | TrackBackI'm sorry to hear about Eric's sudden death.
All week I've thinking on and off about your blog. How many cool thinking Xtians do I know online? Well, you come to mind. I read the first book of the gospels and think about 'futurity.' I try to imagine futurity outside of linear time--call this a misreading if you will. Recently, an uncle in Manchester died and I sent a letter back home about all the acts of kindness I remembered from him from my childhood. I thought of the 'wheat from the chaff' as what's finally recalled or remembered: rather than a final judgement or reckoning. The question of the status of the parable: what needs to be read poetically rather than literally? What can't be said 'in plain language'? In memory, the reckoning, the good acts, are what we remember.I look at the photo of Eric on your blog and I think "this was the memory of the finest wheat." Aroha. a
Hi Fi, found your blog today again. For some reason the text is crunching up, do you know what the problem is? Great read by the way, what I can read anyway.
Posted by: sue at August 29, 2005 03:10 PMwould love to read more from you. will keep watching out.
cheers
adagio
mornings are the best! another sleep survived and the gift of a new day from our Creator in which we can make a difference to others. Can't do it without coffee though, RAD.
Posted by: richard Davis at August 31, 2005 05:31 PM