beautiful monsters

phallic Japan

There are always a few weird ones in the weekly site stats… sometimes I can’t work out where on earth the search terms are on my site, and I have to do a search to find them.

So, it turns out that if you do a Google search for beautiful penis, my blog comes out on top. Yup, that’s right, Number One. And that was before I even wrote this post. I figure, what the heck, give ’em something to read while they are here.

Now, personally, I don’t find penises especially beautiful. I think they’re pretty much the silliest looking anatomy imaginable. But, just for you, I’m going to declare penises beautiful, just for this post. And today all the beautiful penises are Japanese.

Our journey begins with a poem from Realia, by Kate Camp. Which is, by the way, a fine book indeed. A friend and I were just talking about how people don’t read enough poetry these days. It’s sad. So, if you haven’t read a poem this week, then seek out a copy of one of Kate’s books. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll wish you’d written that first. They are all so true, you know? The kind of truth that is so obvious you don’t notice it until someone points it out. The pages are filled with the beautiful poetry of the utterly ordinary. Add to that the clever, playful use of words, lines that feel so good on your tongue, and some brilliant titles. Go on, read it. Meanwhile, here is a beautiful poem with penises.

At the Crossroads Bookshop

I read Japanese poems
in translation
in a vinyl chair

you stand in your coat
and look at giant penises
in Japanese prints.

The poems are all about grass
and love, and occasionally the eyebrows
of a pined-for daughter

the prints are erotica
sandwiched against photos
from a nude production of Oh! Calcutta!

I say –
listen to this –
‘a shadow is my inn’

you say – it isn’t here,
the one with the lovers,
and the crumpled tissues

I say –
listen to this –
‘a flower is my host’

but secretly, I see your absent print:
white Fuji-boats adrift,
an undressed gift.

*

If you are feeling disappointed because you did not get to see the print in question, our next stop ought to cheer you up. We’re heading to the annual Japanese festival of Kanamara Matsuri. Also known as the Penis Festival.

It all goes back (many many generations ago) to an unfortunate girl, and her even more unfortunate husband, who found on their wedding night that her vagina was lined with sharp teeth. The husband fled, missing six inches, and the young lass was left lonely and childless. She chomped her way through several more husbands before the village blacksmith agreed to try his hand at marriage. He before their wedding night he forged a great penis of iron. And, happily, it did the trick. The young woman broke all her teeth on the big iron dildo, and went on to have many children.

Such lovely cherry blossoms

Their story lives on in this springtime fertility festival, during which you can see children sitting on a giant penis seesaw, grandmothers licking penis shaped lollypops, and transvestites parading through the streets carrying enormous pink phallic objects. And other interesting anecdotes. Read this story to find out why no one had any sympathy for “for the poor soul who’d just lost his fertility in the brass vagina shrine.”

And then check out this site for some fabulous festival photographs. I particularly like the carved radishes.

Posted by Fionnaigh at May 11, 2005 02:41 AM | TrackBack