Tom Scott recently featured a kid who wanted to cancel his subscription to the human race. Sometimes I know how he feels. We can be so unbelievably heartless. But then… we are also capable of incredibly kindness, and creativity. Poetry, art... Buffy... and then there’s that smudgy child’s handprint that I still can’t bear to wipe off my wall. That’s the thing. We’re not born hateful. We learn it somewhere along the way. And if we can learn it... then we can unlearn it. Right?
Everyone has been asking me how I can be part of a church that makes such fundamentalist and homophobic decisions. The biennial Presbyterian General Assembly ruled that the church will not accept for training, license, ordination or induction, anyone involved in a sexual relationship outside the faithful marriage between a man and woman. Effective immediately. Only 37% of those at the assembly voted against the ruling.
And yeah, part of my initial reaction was “Screw you.” Part of me wanted to walk away from the church. I mean, I’m employed by this organisation! I’m not the kind of person who will take this shit in the workplace.
But really, I didn’t choose to work for the Presbyterian Church. I chose to work for St Andrew’s. I love my church. I love the people, I love being challenged by the teaching, comforted by the liturgy. I belong there. I am loved, supported and respected... and I have something to offer back to that community. No, we’re not perfect, but hell, who is?
New Zealand, as a country, has some things that go completely against what I believe in my heart... but I’m not about to throw away my citizenship in protest. Because there’s good stuff here too. And because it would be a long and lonely search trying to find a nation that was spotless.
Yesterday, at church, after the reports from the General Assembly, we sang, “Turn our grieving into grace,” and I looked up at the ceiling and blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears from spilling over onto my cheeks. Then I looked down, and saw that others were crying around me. During the passing of the peace, instead of grasping hands, we reached out and hugged one another. And I was proud, to be part of such a loving, radical, defiant congregation. I was so proud.
Posted by Fionnaigh at September 27, 2004 02:01 PM"Only" 37% ??
This is a hugely divisive issue and is destroying the Episcopal Church USA. Thanks to the radical gay agenda the power of the gospel has been greatly diluted. Those who worship their sexuality at any price, and continue to puruse their self-righteous crusade against normality, conveniently forget innumerable Scriptural injunctions in the name of their "new revelation".
I am glad there is a strong core within the Presbyterian Church who remain faithful to the truth, and are not captivated by the whims of our decadent culture.
Posted by: robertp at September 27, 2004 06:30 PMRobert. I'm wondering why you post on this site. It just seems to make you outraged when you visit and read what Fionnaigh or we, her friends, write. Don't you have something else to do? Some love and joy to spread somewhere...(else)...?
I'm not speaking for every visitor here. I'm sure some welcome the stimulation your point of view brings. For myself, I visit Fionnaigh's blog as a point of sanctuary, compassion, information, wisdom and love. It's wearing me down, this latest round of being called abnormal and perverted. It's beginning to affect my heart and my spirit.
Could you give it a break for a bit?
x
Hinemoana
hi Hinemoana, message received.
You are correct this is probably not the right forum for my grumpiness. I am here because it is interesting, and I want to contribute.
The "fundamental and homophobic" label in the original article irritated me, but I will try to be more gentle. I don't want to be a pain ... Sorry Fionnagh, Hinemoana, and anybody else who I may have alienated.
Posted by: robertp at September 28, 2004 11:52 AMKia ora Fi
Thanks for your latest entry. I've felt similarly alienated by nearly all of the church for a long time, and at the same time, somehow stuck to it.
For me, the thing wasn't being out in a homophobic environment. It was feeling that after believing so strongly in all this stuff about atonement, which I now reject, most parts of the church - if I really spelled out to them what I believe - would regard me as not a Christian, going to hell etc. In other words, it's the pain of excommunication.
The "screw you" response is nearly always on the tip of my tongue, but the experience of church and Protestant Christianity is so much part of me, that damning it is like damning myself.
I took church very seriously as a kid - too seriously - and I think it had a lot to do with the heaven/hell thing. And the church has had it's part in making sexuality a fraught issue for me also.
"I chose to work for St Andrew’s. I love my church. I love the people, I love being challenged by the teaching, comforted by the liturgy. I belong there. I am loved, supported and respected... and I have something to offer back to that community."
These are excellent reasons to belong somewhere. You describe a sense of turangawaewae beautifully, Fionnaigh. And your pride in such a prophetic community as St. Andrews is well placed.
Kia ora, Gareth
Posted by: Gareth at September 28, 2004 12:04 PMkia ora Fi
in Christ there is neither Maori nor Pakeha,
citizen nor foreigner
male nor female,
straight nor queer,
for all are as one in the kingdom of god
(after St Paul)
kia ora Fi
in Christ there is neither Maori nor Pakeha,
citizen nor foreigner
male nor female,
straight nor queer,
for all are as one in the kingdom of god
(after St Paul)