beautiful monsters: The terrible truth about cereal…

July 12, 2004

The terrible truth about cereal…

Whilst it is kind of flattering that beautiful monsters traffic has increased by about 500% in recent days, and the mention on is neat, the angry emails are a just little bit scary. A couple of the emails aren’t worth a public response (you people are really very very disturbing) but some of the comments I want to reply to. And, unfortunately, I can’t reply on WHEDONesque because they’re not taking new sign ups. So I’ll just have to post here…

I’d just like to say a big THANK you to orphea & acp for noticing that a) cheese is not supposed to be taken that seriously, and b) if we’re going to insist on assigning genders then I’m a “she” not a “he”.

Of course there are always more than two possibilities, that was supposed to be part of the humour of the piece – I was taking the micky out of the academic establishment and it’s instance on limited options, and finding meaning in everything… of course it is possible to prove just about anything if you twist things the right way. The piece was a light hearted exercise to wind down my brain after a stressful exam period. I was also making fun of myself, for being so obsessed with Buffy.

Yes, it can be argued that the cheese man has some deeper meaning, but it is also possible that he really means nothing.

My essay on cheese does not claim to be the truth, the whole truth, or even a few little hole-riddled crumbs of the cheesy truth.

I can’t believe it is really necessary to point this out.

But apparently it is.

Scary confession time…

There is no essay on cereal. I just said that as a joke. I honestly had no idea so many people would be reading the article and taking it so seriously. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t all lynch me.

Oh, and apologies to barbara, who I seem to have unwittingly plagiarised. Great minds think alike? And fools seldom differ…

Posted by Fionnaigh at July 12, 2004 08:43 PM

I love the fact that a tongue-in-cheek essay on cheese in Buffy nets you hate email.

Where love = freaked, of course.

Posted by: morgue at July 13, 2004 03:25 AM

Aw, i was hoping the cereal wasnt just a joke. I suspected but hoped anyway. Either way, eh. :)

Posted by: Nikki at July 13, 2004 12:58 PM

I as well figured you were joking, but thought I'd give it a try...anyway if yo do feel inclined to write an essay on cereal I must say I would love to hear it, so send an email my way if an essay on cereal develops....

Posted by: Amanda at July 14, 2004 07:41 PM

you totally nailed the humor and feel of buffy in your cheese essay. you rock! that is gonna go down as a classic. i know it probly does but i really dont intend for this to sound sarcastic

Posted by: buffbuff at July 15, 2004 03:12 PM

You've given away the punchline too early - should have built up the suspense a bit more.

Posted by: Dave at July 17, 2004 04:32 PM

aaawwww, and I was looking forward to the cereal piece =) You're the BEST girl! Superb cheese!

Posted by: Fredrik at July 18, 2004 04:27 AM

Being a Buffy fan, a cheese snob, and a participant (briefly) in the dairy industry, and I thought the essay on cheese and Buffy was quite clever, well-reasoned, and insightful. So disillusioned, then, to find out that you're actually a cereal killer.

Posted by: Alan at July 27, 2004 05:42 AM

I was really hoping for the cereal essay. You definitely have a great sense of humor and the cereal thing woud be cool.

Posted by: Draya at July 28, 2004 10:02 AM

I still think you're stupid.

You shouldn't write this even as a joke, and the fact that there was even an ounce of seriousness in this is frankly frightening. May god have mercy on your soul.

Posted by: robert at August 7, 2004 10:25 AM

I wish there was a cereal essay. But oh well, I'm happy with the cheese one. Hate mail senders suck. I would send them dozens of the exact same "Hey, you suck. Leave me alone" email but then again, I'm immature and somewhat malicious.

Posted by: Andrea at August 12, 2004 05:04 PM

Good Work Girl! I really think that your cheese theory could have been, at first, just for fun but, as I finish to read it all it's clear that, for all the insight into the series and the characters, it could be... Not... I SHOULD be taken seriously as a very good theory on the misteriously "cheese man" in "Restless".

I'm very sorry for all these people that doesn't understand that a theory is to be studied, analized and (maybe) criticized -that's the reason theories exists- so, please, be kind with all of us that give credit to a very clever girl on a very tricky subject.

Sorry for my mistakes writting this because I'm from Panama and we talk (and write) in spanish. Love to you all.


Posted by: Fab! at August 14, 2004 06:04 AM

I just want to say thank you! i now know foe sure i'm not the only obessed fan of buffy!
I love your cheese essay, even as a joke it brings closure to the cheese guy.
Pay no attention to those who critisize you, they just don't get it!

Posted by: Kay at August 14, 2004 04:46 PM

I liked it, I thought it was funny, and insightful. I was kind of disappointed when I found out the cereal thing was a joke. :'( Being a big Buffy geek myself, I think you have every right to analyze and interpret things from the show. I think anyone who misunderstands this and feels the need to bash you for your insightful piece is an ingnorant, arrogant fool who has far too much negativity and time on his hands. That being said, Well done. I enjoyed what you wrote and hope to see more. :D

Posted by: Brittaya at August 27, 2004 06:40 AM

Robert, you're a bitca. The cheese thing was very funny, thank you for enlightening my sense of humour.

Spike is hot!

Posted by: Murgatroyd at September 23, 2004 10:56 AM

You know what - tongue in cheek or not, it made some sense. And the parallels with the relationships with the rest of the scoobs seemed spot on. Maybe you set out to make fun and got it right accidently?

Posted by: Ali at October 4, 2004 04:23 PM