beautiful monsters

Thoughts on Buffy

Contains spoilers. You have been warned, proceed at own risk.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved seasons one through four. I loved the repartee. I loved the intelligent sense of humour (as opposed to the usual British style of humour (a naked man runs down a street) or American style (a man runs down a street and an anvil falls on his head) or the pan-western juvenile sense of humour (a man runs down a street farting). Not to broadly generalise or anything, but… it was refreshing to discover a series that had wit and punning and obscure cultural references that made me laugh. I loved the characters. All of them. Yes, even Xander, despite the fact that I found the whole Cordelia/Xander snoggage the most scary evil in the early seasons.

But. (Come on, you knew that was coming). It was just entertainment. Another tool in my procrastination kitset. It didn’t really change me, move me, challenge me, make me think.

The early seasons are more fun, more entertaining. But for me, the later seasons are more powerful. And I think it’s because around season five is when I started relating to some of the characters. I think the first episode that hit me real hard was Blood Ties, when Dawn cuts herself to try to prove that she’s real. Oh, have I been there. And it’s about the blood. Like Dawn says, “Is this blood? This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key. I'm not a thing. What am I? Am I real? Am I anything?” I’ve asked all of those questions... ok, so not the thing about the key. But the blood, it’s comforting. A sign of life. Ok, also a sign of death. But if it’s flowing from your own arm, and you can see it, and it’s warm... then you must be real, right? Spike puts it so well in The Gift “Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. Course it's her blood.”

And, speaking of Spike, my absolute favourite moment in season five was the kiss at the end of Intervention. Still not totally clear about whether I wanted to be kissing Spike, or to be Spike kissing... anyway, season six it was Spike I could really relate to. Also Buffy at times, mostly when she was with Spike, because it seemed like she was doing it just to feel... and I’ve tried that. Doesn’t seem to work in the long term. As soon as the memory of their touch on your skin cools, you’re numb again.

A couple of people have (independently) said to me (or been overheard by me) that they don’t think much of Spike in season seven. But me, I’m still rooting for him. OK, yeah, there’s the whole rape incident, but hear me through. Spike is a vampire. And the way I see it, that’s kind of like a disease. You get infected through a certain kind of contact with another infected person’s blood... and then you change. You’re not yourself. Almost like an extreme mental illness. When I’ve been really sick, I’ve done stupid stupid things. I’ve hurt the people I love most. I’ve been cruel and selfish. I’ve acted carelessly and put myself and others in danger. But that’s not me. That’s the illness taking control. I don’t want to do any of those things. And when I start to come out of it, become myself again, god how I hate myself. I just want bang my head against a brick wall, over and over until the pain goes away. So yeah, I’m there with Spike, when he’s going mad in the basement, re-souled, realising what he’s done, hating himself, punching his fist into his own head. What he did was wrong. But he was a vampire... with a chip, yes, but not a soul. Vampires without souls are supposed to do dreadful things. Angel killed Jenny, but he has been accepted back into the fold.

Anyway, I’ve only seen four episodes of season seven, so maybe episode five Spike turns into a total jerk, but so far I’m liking. Him, and the season. Same Time, Same Place was particularly brilliant. The scene in the basement, with Spike rambling madly to the friends who are invisible to each other? Really clever. And as for the baddies, so far the only ones that have really crept me out (aside from Cordelia and Xander snogging) were the Gentlemen in Hush. But that was before I saw Gnarl. Eeeeeeeeeeew!! I cannot stress that enough. As far as gross and scary baddies go, Gnarl is a work of absolute genius. The singing. And the licking. *Shudder.* He actually had a personality, rather than being an anonymous bad. Interestingly, Camden Toy, the actor who played Gnarl, also played one of the Gentleman in "Hush" (the tall one that seemed to be the leader). Check out Buffy Guide for more interesting facts.

So yeah, that’s the real reason I’m writing a blog entry at 4am. I’m so freaked out by Gnarl that I can’t sleep. I’ve never been this freaked by a Buffy ep! Except the Gentlemen...

Oh, and yay for Dawn, she’s actually been allowed to stretch her legs a little, and even kick some butt. She’s got a sharp mind, and she’s more smiley, and less whiney. Thank god. Realistic? Yes. But also grating.

Posable Dawn... so cute.

Posted by Fionnaigh at January 1, 2003 02:16 AM