I had such a disturbing dream last night – even a long hot shower couldn’t seem to wash it away. Yuck. I feel weird knowing that something so disturbing could come from my mind – even in sleep. Feel as though I need to apologise to the friend I dreamed about, but… it was only a dream… right?
*
I’m having one of those days when everything seems unbearably wrong. The world is so fucked up. People can be so horrible. You drag yourself out of the muck but you know you’re going to slide down again. What’s the point?
Are men really such animals? How can it be like this? How can even the guys who seem kind, supportive, politically aware, intelligent, thoughtful… how can even they do such sickening things?
I feel so worn out. I feel like I’m made up of layers and layers of what men have done to me over and over. And I’m scared, if it was all peeled away, there would be nothing of me left underneath.
Posted by Fionnaigh at December 3, 2003 07:20 AMHey I like your weblog and your 100 more things. I hope Thursday works out better for you. If not, at least watch "Posh Nosh." No really.
On men are animals: well as a man and animal I know I've done a lot of stupid things I'd like to undo if I could but I can't. It's a terrible thing when you hurt the people you care about. Sometimes it seems like you'd be better on a desert island safely out of range of other people. I just try to be better.
On nothing left underneath: that's clearly not true. I'm not saying that to be kind: that was the intention of the first paragraph.
Posted by: Matthew Walker at December 3, 2003 09:11 PMHey my friend, it'll pass, it always does. the feelings, anguish, torment...I feel like shit today but I know its only temporary. and if you peel your layers away there would be you...and thats not nothing, it's something great :)
aroha tino nui
H
Kia ora! Meant to write to you b4 the Paekakariki gig to thank you for the plug...but the Paekakariki gig kept me fairly busy organising wise....so hey! Thanks for the plug! Lovely to see you there, will be in touch soon about CDs etc. I am at work tomorrow and Tuesday (actually I'm there now, catching up), so drop an email if you have a spare 3 or 4 minutes (unlikely, I know!)
x
H
just 2 tell every1 iluv luv mal 4eva n eva n hes da best lad in da world!!!!
Posted by: jo at January 6, 2004 11:41 PM