beautiful monsters

5.2

These ones are from Iona;

1. What's your favourite secret ingredient?

If I told you it wouldn’t be secret… Oh, ok. Chocolate, added to the sauce for nachos. Or a hint of chilli added to chocolate pudding. Or other variations on the chocolate and chilli theme. Just trust me on this one!

2. If you could swap hair with another person, who would you swap with?

Probably Andie MacDowell. I kinda like my curls, but I wish my hair wasn’t so fine and thin.

Really though, I think I’d look silly with anyone else’s hair.

See? Even with Willow's hair I wouldn't look sexy. In fact I’d look bloody awful.

Maybe I’d have a moustache… Do I look cute with a moustache?

3. What's the difference between boys and girls?

Girls grow up and turn into women – boys just get bigger.

Also, this.

But seriously, you really wanna know what I think? OK, you asked for it…

[switching into essay mode]

The identities ‘boy/girl’ ‘man/woman’ and ‘male/female’ are categories that are created through discourse, proclaimed to be natural, and then rigidly enforced. Variations from these dichotomies are ignored or changed, and so they are rendered invisible. Like taking a black and white photograph – all of the colours are simplified down to shades of grey.

The categories ‘female’ and ‘male’ are supposedly based on essential physical differences. Trouble is, none of these differences are as clear as most people believe;

There are lots of variations between the genitals of different individuals. Doctors draw a couple of arbitrary lines, and say “if your phallus is above this line you’re a boy, if it’s below this line you’re a girl, and if it’s in between you’re a freak and we’re going to perform surgery.”

Sex assignment based on genetics is formed around the assumption that males have XY chromosomes, and females have XX chromosomes. Most people haven’t had their chromosomes tested, so they just assume they’ve got the “correct” set. Yet many people have other variations of chromosomes, for example XXY, XO, and YY…

OK, so how about we divide people up based on reproductive function? But what about people who are infertile, or are too young or old to produce children, or who choose not to?

So what about the social differences between men and women? They seem pretty fixed, right? Well, no. There are huge variations in the way gender is defined in different cultures and periods throughout history. And there are always plenty of people who don’t fit the definitions.

So, basically we have a bi-polar model of gender, based on diverse gender identities and characteristics, which are supposedly caused by dichotomous biological sex, which is based on a continuum of physical characteristics…
in other words, there’s so clear difference at all…

Except the way we are treated.

From the moment a baby is born and assigned a gender, the child is treated differently. The first question most people ask is always “is it a boy or a girl?” When people find out a child is a girl, they use a different tone of voice. When they’re told a baby is a boy, they hold the baby differently. If the parents say “we don’t know, the baby hasn’t decided yet,” everyone will feel really uncomfortable and not know how to act around the child.

Girls get dressed in pink booties, boys in blue. Girls get given dolls, boys get toy cars. Boys get taught to apologise for their weaknesses, girls get taught to apologise for their strengths. Boys get socialised to be aggressive, girls get trained to be passive. And so it goes on, for a lifetime.

The difference between boys and girls? Girls are more likely to question these categories. Boys have too much interest in maintaining the balance of power.

4. Do apostrophes matter?

George Bernard Shaw didnt think so - hell always be remembered as the guy who tried to abolish the apostrophe.

I dont believe theyre the only thing standing between us and total destruction, but I wont go into the reasons why the essays assertions are kinda silly. Suffice to say wed survive without apostrophes.

With the contractions going on in text messaging etc well have to see what happens, but for now Id have to say theyre pretty useful, so Ill keep using them.

5. What would you say to your 16 year old self?

“Hey.”

I’m taken aback for a moment. She looks so young.

“You look… um, you look smaller than I remember.”

“Gee, thanks. You look… well… I hoped I might be thinner. And with different hair.”

“Kid, the hair is the least of your worries, believe me. God, there’s so much I have to tell you! There’s this guy, at the end of seventh form… he… he… look, just don’t go to that party, ok? And this other guy, a few years later, he seems really nice, but he’s a creep. Just tell him he’s a creep, and kick him in the nuts. Oh and AFS? Don’t go to Costa Rica. Pick Thailand, or Sweden, or just about anywhere else. Oh, and don’t keep a diary, it gets kinda embarrassing. And don’t bother with architecture school, it’s not what you think. And – hey! Are you even listening? This is important! This is our life!”

She looks as though she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Instead she just shakes her head, and sighs.

“You’re me, in the future, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So it’s already going to happen.”

“Huh?”

“All that stuff you’re talking about. It’s going to happen, it’s already happened to you. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

“But…”

“So I’m alive, huh?”

“WHAT?!”

“I get to 21. I don’t kill myself.”

“No. I mean yeah. I mean… alive.”

She looks away for a moment, thoughtful, a little sad.

“Is it worth it?”

I look at her blankly, then realise she what she is talking about. I think about it. Seriously.

“Yeah. It is.” She doesn’t look as though she believes me, but I bowl on. “Over the next six years dozens of people are going to pat you on the shoulder and say “It gets better, really it does.” And you won’t believe them. But you know what? They’re right.”

She looks away. “What would you know about it?”

I want to shake her. “Of course I know, I’m…”

She’s smiling.

“I’m only kidding. I’ll try to remember.”

“Good. Just hang in there ok?”

“Yeah. So… um, I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah. See ya. Oh, and kid? Just relax about the whole Jamie thing. You’re allowed to like both you know. Boys and girls. And he’s very cute.” She’s raising her eyebrows at me. “And don’t worry so much. Nothing is really that important.”

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Shuddup.” She puts her arms around me, and I hear her mumbling into my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna be ok.”

Posted by Fionnaigh at June 21, 2003 02:20 PM