Writers... I'm in love with them all. I just want to run up to them, throw my arms around them, kiss them on both cheeks.
One of the highlights of the festival was "Illustrious Energy," a discussion about the influence of Chinese heritage and culture. Alison Wong read an extract from a novel she is working on, and it was absolutely exquisite. I can't wait to read the book!
Another highlight was "In Her Own Write," with Paula Boock, Fiona Farrell, Patricia Grace, Sarah Quigley and Kate de Goldi. They all talked about why they write, and how they find time to do it. Paula Boock got the audience to vote on whether she should accept another (well paid) TV scriptwriting job, or whether she should write another novel. The audience response was as divided as her own mind, so that wasn't much help. But she read an extract from the novel in progress, and a few people changed their votes after that!
Then Kate invited me to a cafe with Paula. I was over the moon. I got really shy and clung to Kate and didn't say anything... and then I drank too much wine (these days it seems any wine is too much) and ranted loudly about Costa Rica, and forgot all of the questions I wanted to ask Paula. But she was absolutely delightful. Incredibly intelligent, insightful, kind, thoughtful, and utterly gorgeous.
This weekend has totally convinced me that I want to keep writing - I don't think that I could live with out writing. But I'm still utterly confused about how to go about getting there. So many questions are still banging around in my head. How much should I change my work to conform to what (male) editors want? Should I get a degree? Should I keep doing workshops? Should I get a "real" job? Why am I writing? What do I want to achieve through my work? Over the past few days I have had the opportunity to talk to so many wonderful writers, but I'm no closer to finding any answers. It seems that everyone is asking the same questions, and the answers are varied and often elusive.
Fiona Farrell said to me "You've got to live first. Work, travel..." Life is the fuel of writing. But I don't seem to be capable of any full time work at the moment, and without a "real" job, how can I find the money to travel?
It seems that most people start writing professionally in their late 20's or later. Even Paula, who still seems so young, published her first book when she was about 26. So what am I meant to do in the meantime? Do I just keep writing and piling up rejection slips? Or do I put the writing aside, and focus on "life," whatever that is, and go back to the writing when I've matured? I don't know what I want to do, let alone what I should do.
Part of me feels as though I've crammed more "life" than most people into my 21 years. I've travelled, I've done volunteer work, I've lived in a third world country, I've struggled with a severe (and life-threatening) illness, I've survived abuse, I've played in an orchestra, acted on stage, tramped around the country... what more am I supposed to do? How much do I need to live?
I don't know what I want to do with my life... next year, next month, even next week. I'm so torn between all the things I could do, all the things I want to do, I'm scared I might end up doing nothing at all.
Posted by Fionnaigh at May 24, 2003 10:24 AMPeople forget that life is every morning, every thing. So as for putting writing aside and concentrating on life, instead I think that to make a subdivision is false. Its a matter of finding how writing is life and not letting any thing overwhelm and become everything. Dig? Personally my writing is best when I'm working as well. Writing is a part of life in a wider sense and I think should be approached with the same degree of respect as 'work' because it IS.
I've always been really inspired that T S Eliot was like a bank teller (or some other such thing). Anyway, I'm not making very much sense so heres my favourite quote from Falubert:
"You must be regular and natural in your habits like the bourgeoisie, so that you may be violent and original in your work."
And to paraphrase William Morris: Work without art is drudgery and opperssion.
Oh dear I appear to be in another topic entirely now!
Any help?
There are no rules. Follow your heart. If you have energy for writing and it's important to you, then go for it.
(At least, that's what I think. Which is why I'm not reaching my work quota, but my blog is flourishing. :-)
Also, life is a work in progress, and so is writing: you don't have to get it "right" - just practice and play and see what comes out.
Posted by: iona at May 26, 2003 09:53 AMHey mate. Thats sounds great and well timed and needed boost to your creative energy hehe. Dunedin rocks eh? Mind you i haven't been there for 20 years LOL.
You always experience life. Doesn't mean you have to stop writing. I find the best things to write about is what you know. And that someones first novel, or stories, albums are always years of writings and ideas collaberated into one piece ...does that make sense?
x
I've missed reading you, I wish there was some way of linking this blog from Xanga.
Posted by: deevaa at May 26, 2003 12:55 PMfi,
"quitting the nairobi trio" is about jim knipfel's several-month-long experience as a patient on a mental ward. it's a very interesting story.
hugs back at ya.
Posted by: polaroid at May 26, 2003 03:08 PMThere was no immunity to cuckoo ideas on Earth.
Posted by: Rhodes Janna Bernstein at December 11, 2003 06:41 PMlife isnt a tally of the fun,outrageous,adventurous diverse things you manage to cram into it, its also the actuall daily grind, the natural progress of maturing comes about completely without sugestion, it just happens, im frequently amazed at my own progression, stuff that i had no concious hand in, I think thats what these older 'lived' people are suggesting when they say.,.,,..live a little first.
Posted by: chloe at December 18, 2003 01:35 AM