http://www.makepovertyhistory.org.nz beautiful monsters: I said I'd be <i>more</i> positive

March 17, 2003

I said I'd be more positive

I didn’t say it would be the most optimistic post you’ve ever read in your life. It’s been hell, the past week, absolutely hell. I can’t believe I’ve made it through. But I have, and things are starting to look brighter. There are little glimmers of hope, and perhaps they’ve actually been there all along, but now I am beginning to notice them all around me. The soft kiss of the rain, the tiny breath of a butterfly beating its wings, the gentle hands of a friend, the bright red scrap of a leaf in the gutter, the words of a song that has been sung by so many voices throughout history. God, fate, life-force, call it what you will, there is something stronger than you, pulling you onwards, caressing you, willing you to stay alive.

Awhina

Copious amounts of love and blessings to my friends, especially Pete, Airini, Tommy, Tyree and Hinemoana, for caring about me. Love and thanks also to new people who have come into my life, especially Iona, the1aotearoa and Kate, for your kind and supportive words, and for seeing potential in my life, despite the mess I have been lately! Thanks and blessings to the angels who have been watching over me, especially Liz, Whaea Mere, and the people who found me on Mt Vic - I may never see you again but I will always be grateful.

I feel I have been such a huge drain on so many people lately, but I also firmly believe that one day I will be able to return the love and energy. Perhaps indirectly, but somehow, someday… Today I need support, I need to be carried… but one day I will be able to take some of the weight from the shoulders of others.

Eternal gratitude to Hirini, Mahinarangi, Elizabeth, Robert, Michele, Kim and Shaun, whose voices have been my lifeline, a silver thread leading me back to sanity.

Arohanuissimo, tino tino agradecimiento, I love you all.

Singing

A korimako is singing
but the sky is still dark.

Why do you sing, foolish bird?
maybe the sun won’t rise today

maybe the sun
has forgotten the way to the sky

maybe the sky
has given up fighting the clouds

maybe the clouds
are heavy with tears

maybe the tears
are black with sorrow

maybe the sorrow
will blind the sun

maybe the sun won’t rise today
the sky is still dark

but a korimako is singing
the sun will rise again.

Posted by Fionnaigh at March 17, 2003 12:03 AM
Comments

I'm grateful for them too.

Posted by: deeva at April 14, 2003 12:18 AM

"the sun will rise again" - lovely. i used to say that all the time. time to bring it back.

Posted by: thinkingamerican at April 14, 2003 12:18 AM

Kia ora..., nice to see your back. i got your message and e-mail. hope things are looking up ...you know I'll support you anytime you need me.
t1oa
xxx

Posted by: the1aotearoa at April 14, 2003 12:19 AM