I've recently come across a difference between Irish and New Zealand culture, when a person in Ireland takes a leave of absense due to a death of a close family member, the whole company is sent an email from HR expressing condolences and informing people of the time and place of the funeral.
It is quite normal here for people (not necessarily friends) to leave work and go to the funeral of the parent of a colleague. Someone you've never met and who's name you may not even have known before you read the death notice.
I know this because recently one of the people in our office emailed me to say that they were taking "special leave" as their mother had passed on the weekend. I'm the one keeping track of who is in and who is out of office each day as well as leave etc. I was also doing a job for them (typing up an interview). I mentioned it to another person, as I wasn't sure if I was to inform HR and a flurry of activity ensued with people trying to reach other people and did I know about the funeral arrangements etc.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, it's good that the people you work with are aware that you are going through a difficult period. When I suffered a loss, one of the hardest things for me to do was to have to keep telling people why I looked like I was going to burst into tears (which caused me to actually burst into tears).
On the other hand, while trying to deal with my grief, do I really want my work colleagues turning up at the funeral to offer well-meaning condolences, when I actually want to be hugged and held and share memories and thoughts with people who knew my lost loved one, or failing that with people who know and love me? It seems a bit intrusive.
Perhaps this is just my work place and not a common practise.
How do you feel about it?
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