March 16, 2006

Springs of Joy and Wells of Despair

The week started well but, I keep feeling low. Mostly whenever I'm alone. Just missing Beau and being unhappy with myself. Feeling ugly, internally, externally. Logically, I can "look" at myself and see that it isn't true... but then another part of me goes, it is so true. Probably due to tiredness.

I'm also not enjoying heading to bed. Evenings are social and friendly and entertaining and I enjoy them. Bedtime means an end to that. However, in the mornings I cling to my bed, cocooned and warm I deny the outside world. At least until the snooze alarm goes off, again.

One of the teachers at school resigned recently. It was unexpected for a lot of people. She hasn't got a plan regarding what she is doing. Her husband and her have an agreement that she simply must earn $200 a week. She is keen to have a look around and try something different. I am envious.

Having people over has been great for me. Just chilling and talking and eating and walking. I *am* happy when others are around and don't think about or dwell on ... stuff. So, if you have seen me recently and am surprised to hear I'm not feeling great, I was when you saw me.

Getting socks was great. It's like a present 'cause it's so long since I paid for it. I wore my mint and lilac super stripes today with my garter belt to hold them up. Definitely a good idea to get the garter belt, don't have to worry about them rolling down. I'm still trying to sort out how exactly to deal with it when I got to the toilet though!

I'm off to call my Beau. It's his birthday today and I sent him a present. I'm pretty sure he'll like it. I like him. I'm looking forward to seeing him this weekend. We're going to be hanging with his whanau on Friday and I think he's gonna try to arrange to see friends on Sat, which is good. I wish to see my Tasha and my Zeph. It is Zeph's birthday on Sat. Hopefully her present arrives in time!

Point of Fashion: want to say the socks but I've changed to exercise.
Current Obsession: Me and whether I do everything wrong.

Posted by giffy at March 16, 2006 04:05 PM | TrackBack