I think that in many ways I haven't given up childish things. I still like toys, cartoons, cake and candy. When going to a mall I like to have a look at the latest toys and I like childrens clothes. Soo cute. It's not just me but my friends too! But the thing that make's me act most child-like is my family.
Going back to see my parents I slip into roles that I occupied as a child. Like, I'll complain about getting Mum a glass of water, even tho it's no big deal and I only have to do it every couple of weeks or so when I go see her, and I owe her soo much more than a glass of water. But I still feel compelled to go, Mu-um! Not only that but the way I intereact with my brother is just shameful. I can't let any comment he says go. I just get all angry and annoyed with him. It's really stupid alot of the time. Then after he says something mean I not only get mad, I feel I have to get even. So I'll say something hurtful back and he has quite low self-esteem and I know it. Not only that but I also know that as his big sister he does respect my opinions on some level so he gets quite hurt. SO I inevitably feel guilty about the mean things I say... later. Yet, I can't manage to stop myself the next time. I am getting better about it. I'm more able to walk away or just smile and tell him I love him, but if he keeps nagging me and saying I'm stupid or that he's been talking to Mum or Dad or my Auntie or whoever and that they have said something harsh about me, I tend to snap.
It's horrible how it's the ones you love and know you well that can hurt you the most.
Posted by giffy at May 9, 2004 05:32 PM | TrackBack